Poisoning Perfection

My heart was beating wildly.  Slowly, the teacher made her way around the room.  She stopped at my desk and handed me a white card.  Taking a deep breath, I flipped it over.  YES!  Straight A's!

My parents expected nothing less.  This could be due to the face that my mother was a teacher.  I remember going on full lock down to study for finals.  When I say "lock down," I mean that we would study for five hours straight.  Seriously!

If I received an A-, my mom would grill me asking why it wasn't an A+.  She was not overjoyed like many of my classmates' parents would have been.  I was held to a much higher standard.

I was not expected to attend an Ivy League college, but I was to do my absolute best every day.  Often times, this meant missing out on doing things with my friends.  Education came first.

Mom revealed to me more recently in my adult life that the reason she demanded so much of me academically is because her mother never took an interest in her schooling.  She knows now that she went overboard, but to me, the damage has been done.  I have carried that pressure for perfection with me into adulthood.

Upon graduating from college, I was so excited to enter the working world.  I saw myself getting a fantastic job that I would absolutely love.  I would continue to work hard like I always had and would be financially rewarded.  I could look at myself in the mirror every day and happily know that I was successful.

What I soon discovered was that the working world is not the same one that my parents had.  The job market was scarce for people with journalism degrees.  People who had retired were having to come out of retirement due to the failing economy.  And those that have the fantastic jobs continue to hang onto them for dear life.

My work ethic and positive personality were hardly ever appreciated by my employers.  And certainly not by my co-workers.  It seemed that I was the "problem child" that "made everyone look bad."  The dream world that I had created in my mind shattered.

The perfectionist programming did not help me achieve my dreams.  Instead, it made me feel like a huge failure.  I was doing everything that my parents had told me to do, following all of the rules and still getting nowhere.

I began to criticize and internalize everything that I did.  I must not be working hard enough.  My best must not be good enough.  I am not good enough.

In 2016, I self-published my first children's book, Priceless Penny.  The story chronicles the amazing adoption journey of my tripawd Chiweenie, Penny.  I thought that the book would become an instant best seller.  Visions of television and book store appearances filled my head.

I worked tirelessly on Penny's social media accounts.  I created and maintained Penny's website, making sure to upload photos and videos almost daily.  Networking became like a second job.  I was always promoting Penny and her story.

Yet, Penny was not launched into the ranks of animal superstars like Tuna, Nala Cat and Lil Bub.  I could not understand it.  Penny's story is so special and (being the biased fur mom that I am) she is beyond adorable.  What was I doing wrong?  What I should have been asking myself was why am I comparing Penny to other animals?

Perfection is a dangerous thing.  It makes enjoying life nearly impossible.  I realized that I have spent most of my life beating myself up over things that are beyond my control.  Worse than that, I have been trying to live up to the expectations of others.  I have even gone so far as to actively seek approval for the decisions that I make.

Happiness has not been attainable for me because I have been chasing someone else's dreams.  The cut throat working world is not for me.  My husband and I have even talked about the possibility of me becoming a stay at home fur mom.  I would love to start my own animal rescue, The Duchess of Spots (named after my and my husband's first dogs).  My focus would be to rescue differently-abled and special needs animals.

I also want to continue to write books about the animals that I have adopted.  Telling their stories and promoting adoption is something that I am very passionate about.  I want to be a voice for the voiceless.  And I would love to devote more time to volunteering both as a certified therapy dog handler and as a humane educator for the APA of Missouri.

We are not made to be perfect.  We are made to be perfectly imperfect.  Being an individual is what life is all about.  We should chase our own dreams and follow the path that feels right for us.  While I know that my parents may not always approve of my choices, I do know that they love me more than anything in the world, flaws and all.

APA's Jennifer Blome and special guests to lead story time for children

Penny and I are so honored to be featured in Ms. Jennifer Blome's interview on KTRS 550!  We love volunteering for the APA of Missouri!

Dog Book Review: Priceless Penny

The BEST Kid's Picture Books of 2016

Celebrity Priceless Penny Book Reading

I am so touched by this awesome celebrity reading of Priceless Penny by friends Deirdre Franklin from Pinups for Pitbulls and Alyona DelaCoeur from Why Does My Dog? And a special thanks to cutie pie Baxter Bean!

Cruel Christmas Commercial

Christmas time is my absolute favorite time of the year!  I love how the spirit of giving is in the air and everyone just seems so happy.  I also love watching Christmas movies.

I even love Christmas commercials.  My favorite that I look for every year is the one that features Hershey's kisses acting as hand bells and playing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."  A newer favorite is the Well Fargo commercial where the snowmen give the Well Fargo horses their carrot noses to eat so that the team can carry on with their Christmas deliveries.  I tear up every time!

While watching Hairspray Live, a new commercial appeared for Comcast Xfinity.  It showed an elderly couple sitting on a couch reading a social media post from their granddaughter.  The post read:  "I am about to enter the gates of hell where there is no wifi and no shows...aka grandmas."

The confused woman asks her husband what this could possibly mean.  The man replied that it means they are out of date.  In a flurry of activity, the couple hurriedly upgrades their house with the latest technology.  A big screen TV, computers, WIFI, etc.  The commercial then shows the granddaughter taking selfies with her grandma and falling asleep with her head in grandma's lap while watching TV.

Honestly, I am shocked that this commercial was even aired.  Boiling Christmas memories down to playing on the Internet is simply abominable.  Electronic devices are not what Christmas is all about.

I cannot believe that the granddaughter is so selfish that she cannot be without her precious technology for one day.  Instead of having her face buried in a screen, she should be cherishing the time that she is able to spend with her family.

I lost my grandmother to Mantel Cell Lymphoma two years ago.  She was quite literally the heartbeat of my family.  All of my favorite childhood Christmas memories involve her.

Since my birthday is on Christmas day, she would give my family Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve.  But she would not simply have the gifts lying under the tree.  That was not Grandma's way!  She was all about preserving the magic of Christmas.

Every year, she would have some item that was "broken" that she needed my dad to fix.  He would ask me to help and we would go into her garage and get to work.  When the item had been repaired, we would emerge to find piles of gifts underneath the Christmas tree.

Grandma and Mom would be sitting at the kitchen table, calmly sipping their coffee.  I would see the presents and scream that Santa had been there.  Mom and Grandma would look shocked as they entered the living room.  They would continue to talk about how sneaky Santa was because they hadn't heard a thing.

Grandma's Christmas Eve feast was definitely a highlight of the season.  She was the best cook in the world and had no problem whipping up a five course meal from scratch.  As a special treat, she would always make popcorn shrimp because she knew that I loved it.  Her green beans with the small cubes of ham and tiny onions were always a crowd pleaser.

Christmas day held even more magic.  Grandma would come to my parent's house where we would play board games until late into the night.  Her favorite game?  Aggravation.  She would viciously race her marbles around the board and jokingly say, "I'm going to take you out!"

Since Grandma's passing in 2014, Christmas has never been the same.  I miss getting to see her house decked out in Christmas decorations from floor to ceiling.  I miss playing games and listening to her tell stories about her childhood and life.  Most of all, I miss the hugs and kisses.

I cannot imagine missing out on knowing the amazing person that Grandma was because of social media and the Internet.  What values are we as a society instilling in our children?  Ignore your family and watch cat videos?  Don't bother creating lasting memories because it's all about posting a viral holiday selfie?

Why should the grandparents in the commercial have to buy their granddaughter's love with gadgets and gizmos?  Why is the granddaughter allowed to publicly insult her grandparents?  Where is the #respect?

Especially in an era where cyber bullying runs rampant, why are the girl's comments supposed to be viewed as "funny" instead of insulting and hurtful?  Have we as human beings really sunk so low that being without the Internet on Christmas day is viewed as going to "the gates of hell?"

There are hundreds of homeless people on the streets who would love nothing more than to spend Christmas inside of a cozy home eating a good home cooked meal.  There are children lying in hospital beds who would cherish getting to spend Christmas in their own home surrounded by friends and family instead of doctors and nurses.  Let us not forget about the brave men and women who are serving our country in the armed forces and are unable to be with their families so that we can be with ours.

Comcast Xfinity's commercial highlights the selfishness of today's youth as well as our society's dependence on social media and the Internet.  It showcases our humanistic need to be accepted by showing that our value as people is evident in the items that we possess.  Needless to say, I will not be supporting this company in any way, shape or form.

To me, Christmas has always been about love, joy and being thankful for my blessings.  I could not care less about what goes on in the digital world on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.  Nothing means more to me than spending time with my family.

Children's Book Review Author Showcase

I am so honored to be featured in the Author Showcase on The Children's Book Review website!  Check out the review below!



https://www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2016/12/priceless-penny-by-lauren-kramer-theuerkauf-press-release.html