Voiceless Victims

There is an epidemic that is sweeping the country.  Its victims cannot fight back.  Merely mentioning this topic could cause one to lose his/her job.  I am talking about bully bosses.

Sadly, I have personally been the victim of this type of boss.  When I landed a job that actually had to do with journalism, I was so excited.  I thought that I was the luckiest girl in the world.  Until the nice person that hired me turned into a bully.  Sexist comments were made almost on a daily basis.  I said nothing because I feared losing my job.

Finally, I secured a different job.  Everything seemed to be much different.  My boss was polite, respectful, even funny.  But that all changed two years into my employment.  Suddenly, this person was moody and condescending.  Whenever I asked a question, I received e-mail replies with "What do you think you should do?"  Not only did this person discourage me from asking questions to further my knowledge of the company, but, wasted the company's time and money by not providing me with a straight answer.

So, I continued my job search.  I soon found a job that I thought I would really enjoy.  Then, the honeymoon period wore off and the boss's true colors were shown.  This boss had a Master's degree.  I was one of the only other women in the office to hold a Bachelor's degree.  Naturally, the boss thought that because of the advance degree held, he/she could simply yell at the employees whenever he/she felt like it.   Needless to say, I moved on to another job within the year.

My next job was by far the worst job I have ever held.  In the month that I was hired, I had a series of unfortunate events:  I came down with a cold that made me the sickest I have ever been in my life; ice pelted my town and I was forced to call in because the roads were too dangerous; my tire blew out on the way home from said job and all of the tire places were closed because it was a holiday.  I couldn't believe it.  Soon, I was called into my boss's office and told that if I missed one more day of work, I would be fired!  Me, fired?  For things that were beyond my control? 

Where do all of these demoralizing experiences leave me?  With a scarred resume.  I feel that potential employers think that I am a "job hopper" and that I have no plans to stay put in a job for longer than a year.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I have been desperately searching for my "forever job" ever since graduating college.  But, thanks to these bully bosses, I appear to have no say in the matter.  Could I really tell a potential employer at an interview that I have honestly been the victim of bully bosses and bad circumstances?  I'm sure I know the answer I would receive, "NEXT!"

Mangled Memories

Now that I am 28, I find that I am becoming quite nostalgic.  And with my 10 year high school reunion coming up in November, I think it has just gotten worse.  Every time I hear an *NSYNC song on my iPod, I am taken back to a simpler time.

Since my husband and I moved into our first house last July, we seem to have acquired more items from our parents.  I suppose they figure that since we have more room, they can rid themselves of items that were being stored at their house.  And that's when I discovered something horrific.

Most of my beloved childhood items were simply thrown into plastic tubs and bins.  This included the Hush Puppy puppet autographed by Sheri Lewis.  And my ballet shoes that were autographed by the guest ballerina from Russia in 1996.  I was absolutely crushed!  I thought that my parents had been meticulously taking care of these items throughout the years.  Never did I dream that they were being discarded thoughtlessly into a tub with assorted items.

I then began to notice that some items I truly cherished were missing.  I found my Girl Scout uniform, but my Brownie and Daisy items were nowhere to be found.  My Berenstein Bear books had been salvaged, but I quite a few of the books that were staples in my childhood were gone.

How can parents be so thoughtless?  You never know what items mean the world to your child.  My advice?  Parents, save your children's items in tubs that are clearly labeled.  And do not simply toss the items into the tubs.  Carefully lay the items in the tub and try to store the tubs in a cool dry place (not the non-air conditioned garage!). 

When your child turns 16, ask him/her about the memories that you have saved and see if they truly want to keep the items.  At least your child will have the option of saving their memories and not finding out years later that some have been ruined or thrown away. 

Diminishing Dreams

Every day, I realize that my life did not turn out the way that I thought it would.  I have always loved writing and thought that would be the perfect career to pursue.  I worked as hard as I possibly could.  This eventually earned me the Outstanding Journalism Student Award in 2006 from Southern Illinois University Edwardsville.

When I graduated, I believed that the world was my oyster.  I could literally do anything that I wanted to do.  Then, I managed to get a job as an Editor for two local newspapers.  I was over the moon!  I was writing my own stories, taking my own photographs and even managed two reporters.  Finally, my dream was a reality, or so I thought. 

I began working long hours for very little pay.  My boss turned out to be extremely sexist and anytime anything went wrong with the ancient computer software we were using, I was blamed for "not knowing how to use it."  Did I mention that no health benefits were offered?

Eventually, I moved on to yet another job.  The job was not something that I was passionate about, but, it paid the bills.  I found this to be the sad truth about every job that I took thereafter.  I felt like a nomad, moving from job to job trying to find something that I could get excited about and use my skills and talents.

Music is a huge part of my life.  I have been writing song lyrics for 12 years.  I view it as a diary of my life.  When I tried to pursue this avenue of employment, I was told by several production companies that my work was amazing.  Now all I had to do was give them X amount of money to make my dream come true.  Sadly, I gave in once.  The result was not good.  I do own the rights to the five songs that were created, but that's as far as it went.  In order to get my songs "pushed forward," I would have to pay the company (ies) even more money.

I then thought that publishing a book of my lyrics in poetry form would be the next logical step.  Again, I had to invest a substantial sum of money to get the book published.  And the company wanted, you guessed it, more money to market my book.

Now, I am very interested in the thought of being a Life Coach.  I have the background in communications and certainly have enough life experience to help those in need.  But, much like going back to school, the program that I am interested in costs money.

Why do we have to throw money at our dreams?  Our dreams are the things that make us happy and ultimately, what will allow us to earn a substantial living.  It seems that in America we have to buy our dreams.  And I, for one, do not have the funding to make these dreams come to fruition.

Devilish Dealings

My husband was very excited to hear about the Obama Care bill.  I thought that this would be a wonderful opportunity as well.  I would finally be able to receive health coverage for myself without having to attack my poor husband's paycheck each month.  The idea of the financial freedom that this bill would provide to my family would be invaluable.

However, I began to discover that employers were clamoring to find always around this newly government issued mandate.  To be precise:  some places of employment are cutting their employee's hours so that they will not have to pay for health care.  This undermines everything that we as a nation stand for.

I understand that the economy is not doing well.  I also understand that finding a job is nearly impossible because of this.  However, how can the established worker now be punished for a bill that he/she had no control in creating and that would actually benefit him/her?  I wonder how these businesses would feel if their health insurance was not being paid for.  What if they had to pay out of pocket for all of their medical expenses? 

If businesses would like to establish a policy that cuts the hours for all newly hired personnel (or future employees), that would make more sense to me than making cuts straight across the board.  Therefore, the business would be required to pay for health coverage for all of its employees that currently work at least 30 hours.  Obama was trying to help the common American when he created this bill.  Instead, he has created a pandemic of businesses trying to protect themselves while hurting their loyal employees.

It appears that businesses would rather have their employees quit in order to save money.  So, everyone should simply leave their jobs to be taken care of by the government via food stamps and the like?  This will put even more strain on the already poor economy and allow little in the way of recovery.  Plus, I believe in working hard for my employer.  I want to be a valuable member of society that earns my way in the world.  However, employers are making this harder and harder to achieve.  Why should I give a business my all if I am literally going to be given nothing in return?

 

Penny - Three legged escape artist (I own this dog!)

Bothersome Bikers

After reading the title of this post, I'm sure you are thinking, "Lauren hates bikers!"  I absolutely do not.  I love motor and bicyclists that follow the rules of the road and don't try any silly tricks to impress people in nearby cars.

What I did not appreciate was the scene that follows.

Matt (my husband) and I had just finished visiting my Grandmother (like we do every Friday night).  As I was approaching the yield sign at the square in Belleville, Matt said, "Watch out for the bikes."  I looked and sure enough, there was a mom, dad and son each riding a bicycle...in the dark.  I was glad that my husband had pointed this out because I certainly had not seen them.  It could have been the fact that everyone in the family was wearing dark clothing and didn't bother to put lights or reflectors on their bikes.

When I began to approach 159, I saw that a set of stop lights was on flash and there was a police car up ahead.  We thought that there had been an accident.  As we painfully inched our way closer to the light, I saw what the real problem was:  bikers.  Tons of them.  I looked at Matt and groaned, "It's the Tour de Belleville!"

Tour de Belleville occurs every year on the second Friday in July.  This is an event where cyclists of all ages can come and ride around down town Belleville at night.

First of all, I think that this idea is very silly.  Why would you want to ride your bike in the dark?  You can't see anything! There is no beautiful sunset or gorgeous mountain range in the background.  All you will see are buildings with no lights on.  Just darkness.

Perhaps the most annoying part was that the city of Belleville did not bother to provide drivers with a detour.  You literally had to wait at the flashing stop light until the police officer waved you through.  And he was doing a poor job, at that.  We sat there for 30 full minutes and witnessed two huge gaps between cycling groups.  Did the police officer wave us on?  No.  He waited for two bicyclists to slowly make their way through the intersection.  Then, he waited for one lone biker (who appeared to be trying to sight see) amble through before FINALLY waving us on.

I do not mind the city hosting events for bikers.  What I do mind is that there were no signs or banners to alert others to the event.  My husband and I do not take the local newspaper and we do not watch the news.  The city of Belleville should have had signage posted at both ends of town so that drivers could have the choice of sitting in their cars waiting or taking a different path home.

Secondly, why was no detour offered?  This would have been the safest option for such an event.  The likelihood of a cyclist getting hit by a car in that area would have practically been reduced to zero (there is always the possibility of a wrong-way or drunk driver).  Furthermore, I do not have extra money to spend on gas that is wasted from a situation beyond my control.  I had no notice that my trip home was to be so delayed.  I should have been given the option of knowing about the event and then making the decision as to which route to take.

Hopefully, the city of Belleville will think of these important issues for next year's tour.  Otherwise, I expect to see a check in the amount of my gas purchase in the mail.

Fading Females

As the daughter of our town's E.S.D.A. Coordinator, I have always been intrigued by ham radio. My father (and elmer) has been a ham for about 40 years. He actually received his license when he was in high school!

After studying for three weeks, I went to take the ham test. I was very discouraged to see that I was the only girl in the room. However, I was treated like a queen by the group that was hosting the test. They seemed excited to have a female in their midst.

Upon receiving my Technician license, I eagerly awaited the Tuesday night ARES net (which my dad happens to be the Net Control of). Again, I was saddened to hear but a few female voices. Over time, I noticed that the female hams rarely checked in to the net. I wondered why these women who worked so hard to achieve their licenses would not want to take advantage of all that ham radio has to offer.

I hope that women are being encouraged to be active hams. Whether they join a club or simply make contacts, females are providing a fresh voice and perspective to the hobby. So, ladies, do not be shy! Proudly check in with your call sign. You have earned it!

Make Us Part of Your Family - Rapping California Cow

Vicious Volunteering

            Volunteering is supposed to be a great way that one can give back to his/her community.  Not to mention that volunteer work looks great on a resume.  Why then, are organizations making volunteering hard to do for certain age groups?

            After my dog, Adriel, became a certified Therapy Dog, I could not wait to start visiting places with her.  I had big dreams about taking her to hospitals and nursing homes where she could spread some joy to those in need.  Little did I know what an undertaking this would be.

            I contacted a hospice organization in St. Louis, Missouri and was told that I would have to attend a two hour training session that took place at 10:00 a.m. on a week day.  I really wanted to join, but, I have a job.  How was I going to be able to become a volunteer if I could not take off time from work?  This made me a bit angry at the organization.  Why are these training sessions only offered during the day?  Couldn’t a night session be offered?

            I was met with similar circumstances when attempting to join a hospital volunteer group.  Not only was there another two hour training session to go to, but, I would need to schedule a second appointment for a physical/interview.  This also involves a two-step TB test in which I had to get the initial test, but then go back in two weeks to have another test administered.  These tests need to be read by one of the staff during the hours of 9:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m.  How are young, working individuals supposed to “make time” for all of this?  

            When I arrived at both of the orientations, I took a good look around me and noticed something.  All of the volunteers were older people between the ages of 55-75.  I was the youngest volunteer in the room.  This made me sad because I began to think that people my age might not care about volunteering.  Then I realized, volunteer work seems to be gauged more towards people in this specific age group.  But why?

            I understand that many people that age are retired.  They would have the most amount of free time at their disposal.  This would also help to explain why they would be able to attend the training sessions/testing that takes place during normal business hours.  So, should people my age just not volunteer?

            Though my time with the hospice organization in St. Louis was brief, I discovered something remarkable.  The elderly people that I visited loved to see me and Adriel.  I think that the elderly enjoy seeing younger people because it makes them think back to when they themselves were young and brings back positive memories.  One patient in particular loved to hear my newlywed stories. 

I believe that by tailoring volunteer work to only the retired and elderly populations, we are excluding a generation that could positively impact those that are affected by such work.  New perspectives that could be gained are lost.  Smiles that could be shared are never seen. This is why volunteer organizations need to strive for more accommodations for the younger, employed individual who wants to donate his/her time to a worthy cause.

Crooked Clinique

As you may have read in my previous post, "Crafty Clinique," I discovered the the makeup company I have dealt with for years is now conducting shady business practices.  I e-mailed the company to alert them to my frustrations and this is the response that I received:

Wed, Jul 3, 2013 at 3:50 PM

Wed, 3:50 PM

Case ID: 1237168

FROM CONSUMERCARE-US@GCC.CLINIQUE.COM TO You

Dear Ms. Theuerkauf,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Clinique.

Many factors contribute to the cost of our products, such as the quality and source of ingredients, state-of-the-art technologies used in our product formulations, our extensive quality assurance programs, etc. Like all manufacturers, we are challenged with constantly rising costs, particularly in shipping and distribution. Therefore, it is sometimes necessary to either increase a product’s suggested retail price, which may result in an increase in the retail price, or decrease the net weight. We hope you can understand that these changes are sometimes required in order for us to maintain the high quality product standards that our customers expect. It is always our objective to ensure that our products offer excellent value.

Also, I am sorry that you were unable to locate a product from your local store. We constantly strive to keep counters fully stocked at all times.  Unfortunately, at certain times of the year or due to tremendous consumer response, this is not always possible. Please accept our apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you. 

Once again, thank you for taking the time to contact Clinique. I appreciate the opportunity to respond to your concerns. You are valued as our consumer, and I hope you will continue to use and enjoy our products with confidence and satisfaction.

Sincerely,

Heather G
Consumer Response Representative

As Jillian Michaels would say, "What's the takeaway here?"  In this case, Heather from Clinique is saying outright in the first highlighted paragraph that Clinique has raised the consumer price to meet the needs of the company while decreasing the actual product provided to the customer.  Essentially, we are paying more for less.  And in this world economy, who can afford that?

In the second highlighted portion, she makes the same excuse that I received from the Macy's worker about "tremendous consumer response."  How come the availability of my foundation has never been an issue in years past?  I find it hard to believe that the change in Clinique's colors have amassed thousands of new clientele.  And I notice that Heather did not even bother to address the issue of Clinique not notifying its current customers of the change in foundation colors. 

In conclusion, Clinique is not the wholesome company that I perceived it to be.  It appears that as long as the company is generating a profit, they could really care less about its customers.  Therefore, I will be seeking out new makeup products that are not only affordable but available.   

Vulgar Videos

I am greatly disturbed by what is going on in the music industry today.  Music videos used to be about telling a story.  Isn't that what songs are supposed to do?  They relate emotions or situations to an audience who (hopefully) can empathize with the sentiment.

However, the new trend is to simply have a male singer stand in one spot singing while naked women parade around him.  For instance, take a look at Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" video.  He is literally just standing there while women walk back and forth in front of him.  And when I say walk, I do not mean a sexy, model type walk.  I mean these women are stomping around, breasts exposed, staring into the camera.

I happened to see plug on Vevo for Justin Timberlake's new video "Tunnel Vision."  Since I really like his song "Mirrors," I decided to check it out.  And I was utterly repulsed by what I saw.  Justin is only person clothed in the video.  The rest of the video features naked women feeling themselves up in the dark.

I honestly do not understand what is happening to the creativity of music videos.  Some will argue that this is "art."  However, I fail to see the artistic value in women being used as sex symbols and nothing more.  And there is no type of interpretative dance occurring, either.  These women are naked simply for the sake of being naked.

Furthermore, these depictions of women are degrading.  The videos show that women are to be prized only for their body.  Nothing in the video highlights female intelligence and certainly does not promote self worth.  It is no wonder that young girls have the horrific self body images that they do.

And why does the reoccurring theme in 90% of songs have to be sex?  There is more to life than singing about sex.  Personally, I do not want to know about Justin Timberlake's sex life (or anyone else's for that matter).  I miss the days when music videos told an actual story.  I am very thankful that Taylor Swift still produces such videos.  In the video for "Begin Again," you actually get to see a new relationship blossom between Swift and the potential boyfriend.  There is a real and tangible plot.  Plus, it mimics the lyrics of the song. 

I seriously hope that more musicians don't become lazy and resort to using naked women to increase sales.  Besides, there is nothing creative about a woman fondling herself.    I suggest that if today's artists are stuck for inspiration that they seek the advice of Ms. Swift or the equally compelling P!nk.  These ladies never fail to entertain and continue to show just a powerful a (clothed) woman can be.

Poached Pooches

The scene is a familiar one.  I pull into the parking lot of a store and feel something watching me.  As I step out of the car, I bravely look at the vehicle next to mine and come face to face with...a dog.  Being the mother of five fur babies, I naturally stop to see what breed the dog is (and to give a friendly wave).  Then I become enraged.

The dog has been left alone in the car in the middle of summer.  None of the windows are rolled down and the dog is panting like crazy.  Of course, the owner is nowhere to be found. 

Why would someone leave a dog locked in a hot car?  I suppose I should not be surprised since some people are dumb enough to leave their children in a similar situation.  Still, all of my dogs were rescued from animal shelters throughout the country.  Each has overcome horrible treatment at the hands of their previous owners.  The last thing that I would ever do is put their lives in danger for any reason.

My husband and I were parking our car at the local Target a few weeks ago.  When I got out, I noticed an adorable dog in the car across from mine.  The temperature that day had reached 98, according to my car's temperature sensor.  I was so angry.  I said loudly to my husband, "Do you believe that there is a dog in that car?  It's hot outside.  That dog could die!"  All of a sudden, a woman comes rushing toward the car with her shopping bags and laughing, says to me, "Oh, I'm the owner.  I was just gone for a minute."

Trying to be a good person, I just smiled and walked away.  What I wanted to do was pick up the phone and call the ASPCA to report her horrendous behavior.  What kind of dog mom leaves the dog alone for "just a minute?"  If you are committing a crime, do you laugh and tell the police that you were only being illegal for "a minute?"  I don't think so.

To me, the saddest part is that the dog has no say in the matter.  The animal is putting all of its love and trust in its owner.  A dog does not understand what your intentions are when you leave him/her alone in a vehicle.  One of my dogs gets extremely upset if my husband and I are not in the car at the same time. She will actually whine until the other person returns.  Each dog has its own unique emotional needs.  And depending on what the dog has suffered in its previous life, the owner may be setting up for flashbacks to occur.

I have a blue Merle Chihuahua who was forced to be in confined spaces for most of his life.  When we adopted him, he had never even seen grass or been outside before.  As a result, whenever he is scared or upset, he begins to "circle" like crazy.  He will literally run in circles around any and everything in the house (including people).  You never know what will upset a dog.

  Furthermore, pet owners have a responsibility to give their pets the best life that they can.  Owning a pet is a choice and the decision should be weighed carefully.  Remember, this is a living thing.  It should be treated with love and respect.  And like the Josh Billing quote says, "A dog is the only animal on Earth that will love you more than he loves himself." 

Thoughtful Therapy Dogs

Training my Chihuahua, Adriel, to be a Therapy Dog was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  I got the idea from watching the move "Chihuahua:  The Movie."  The plot showcased a Chihuahua that was a Therapy Dog who visited patients in a local hospital.  While the rest of the film was horrible (hokey plot, poor acting), I kept wondering if there really was such a thing as a Therapy Dog.

I soon took to the Internet and discovered Therapy Dogs International.  They are the oldest organization that specializes in training and certifying Therapy Dogs.  The website (www.tdi-dog.org) was filled with information as well as a list of all the things your dog must know before taking the test.  A test?  For a dog?  As I scanned the list, I became worried.  Adriel is the most laid back dog that you will ever meet.  She seriously does not have a care in the world.  This one-of-a-kind temperament is what made me want to make her a Therapy Dog in the first place.

After weeks of working with her on "Sit, stay, come," she was ready for her test.  The test lasted for two hours and consisted of leaving her alone with other people to see if she would suffer from separation anxiety, socializing her with the other testing dogs, seeing how she reacted to loud noises and wheelchairs, etc.  Soon, she not only received her Therapy Dog certification, but her American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen certificate as well.  I couldn't have been more proud of her.  And that is where the fun began.

Adriel and I were soon visiting all kinds of places:  kids' clubs, hospice patients, autism centers.  And we met some of the most amazing people.  We recently became members of our local hospital's auxiliary group and are now the second Therapy Dog/handler team in the organization.  We loving bringing joy and smiles to others.  And I will admit, Adriel is an attention diva and just soaks up every touch.

This got me wondering why more people have not trained their dogs to become Therapy Dogs.  The opportunity to share Adriel and her wonderful personality with others is such a rewarding experience.  Also, knowing that I am helping others simply by letting them pet my dog fills my heart with happiness.  The training is not difficult and if your dog has ever been to an obedience class, he/she should have no problem at all in passing the test.

TDI is always on the lookout for new members and groups in the area are thrilled to have a Therapy Dog in their midst.  You would be surprised at the magic of a smile and a wet nose.