February is rapidly approaching. And you know what that means. Love will be in the air!
In fact, many people that I know are getting married this year. But, I fear that some of the brides-to-be are dangerously close to being labeled a "bridezilla."
What is a bridezilla, you may ask? A bridezilla is bride that goes to extremes to make sure that her wedding day is absolutely, 100% perfect. She may also place unreasonable expectations upon members of the wedding party as well as the guests themselves. Ultimately, the bride is consumed with thoughts of herself...and no one else.
This troubles me greatly. It seems that every bride is trying to achieve the "perfect" wedding. As cheesy as it sounds, my wedding was perfect because of who I married. Not because of the guests, the weather, the food, the gifts. I was elated to finally marry the man that I had been engaged to for 3 years.
Thankfully, I never went into bridezilla territory. And I would have had every reason to. Two out of my three bridesmaids (they were sisters) e-mailed me at work to say that they decided they no longer wanted to be in my wedding...two weeks before the big day. After they had already purchased their dresses and their names were on all of the programs.
Speaking of the programs, they looked absolutely horrible. The names of the bridal party were all stacked on top of one another. Not the elegant look I was hoping for. And to top it all off, my soon-to-be mother-in-law showed up wearing the exact same dress as my mother.
The only thing that I demanded was that the church be kept at a quite frosty temperature. I was terrified that I was going to faint from being so nervous. But, I thought that was a very reasonable request.
Unlike some of the demands from bridezillas. Some instruct their bridesmaids that they are not allowed to cut their hair before the wedding. Others even go so far as to tell their "friends" that they need to go on a diet in order to look good for the photographs. Ouch!
Still, others obsess about the decorations. One of my co-workers has a daughter who is getting married in the next few months. She apparently wants a photo booth, popcorn bar and candy bar at the reception. Is this going to be a wedding or a county fair?
I have never understood the need for an extravagant wedding. Two prime examples: Kim Kardashian/Chris Humphries and Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey. Both of these starlets decided to televise their nuptials. Lavish decorations surrounded their guests as these women floated down the aisle in wedding gowns that cost more than my mortgage.
But, does anyone remember any of the details of these two weddings? Dresses aside, I highly doubt that you will hear someone say, "Boy, I remember the chair covers at Jessica's wedding. They were stunning!" What everyone (at least those that pay attention to pop culture) knows is who married who.
And that is the whole point of a wedding. It isn't to show someone else up or impress a snobby family member. It is not meant to be akin to a concert, where you need bouncers at the door. A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of eternal love between two individuals.
Plus, what does having such a ridiculously large wedding prove? In the case of Kim and Jessica, their marriages lasted only for a few years. All that time and money spent trying to make the wedding "perfect" was wasted.
I would strongly encourage all future brides to remember the reason why you are getting married in the first place: love. This day is not only about you and how you look. It is about your partner and the fact that you are about to embark on the most amazing journey ever...together.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Patronizing Patience
My Grandmother has a friend who loves to constantly repeat the phrase "Patience is a virtue." To be honest, I never really knew what the meant. I thought that this was something parents usually said to their children when being asked for money to purchase something. However, over the past two years, I have begun to see how patience has played a huge part in the success of my life.
The very first job that I had right out of college appeared to be my "dream job." I was actually using the college degree that I had worked so hard to obtain. But, the honeymoon did not last long. Luckily, I was able to find another job rather quickly. I was on cloud nine. I thought that I was making a true difference in the world and helping others. Until I found out the company had very shady business ethics.
I then went through a series of horrible jobs. Working at a fast food restaurant would have been better than what these jobs entailed. My husband and I had only been married for two years. We were struggling to make ends meet and were lucky enough to be able to pay the rent. I was desperately seeking a full time job.
That's when my mother brought up the phrase about being patient. But, when you are constantly worrying that you will not have enough money to purchase food or that your crazy landlord may kick you out onto the street at any moment, being patient seems an impossibility. Especially when I became unemployed for a month.
I cried myself to sleep too many nights to count. And I prayed constantly. I wanted (and needed) a full time job and I needed it NOW. I always thought that my mom just didn't get it. She has her dream job and dad makes more than enough money to support them both. I felt like she didn't understand the struggles that Matt and I were going through.
One thing that I refused to do was give up. I was constantly on Careerbuilder.com and Monster.com. I would refresh the page every hour on the hour. I knew that I would accomplish nothing by sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
I have noticed that just when I think my life is over or that bad things/situations will never get better, God always comes through. I received a call for a job interview at the local college I had graduated from. A few days later, I got another call offering me the position. I was still a part-time employee, but it was certainly better than being unemployed.
About four months into the position, I learned that our office (A) was feuding with another office (B). I couldn't understand what the issue was. Something about we had "too many workers." Soon, I was told that I was going to be moving to office B and become their employee. While greatly confused, I was just thankful to still have a job.
This is where God and patience came in. I worked in office B for a year. One day, I noticed a job opening in office A. I decided to apply. Lo and behold, I got the job. My former co-workers seemed so excited to have me "back." And I felt like I was home.
After a month of being back, one of our full time employees quit to pursue other job opportunities. I was asked if I would mind doing part of this person's job in addition to my current responsibilities. I accepted without hesitation.
The following month, the job posting went up for the position. At a co-worker's encouragement, I applied. Honestly, I didn't think that I had a chance. I had only worked at the college for a year (and a few months). While I have my Bachelor's Degree, I feared that I would not have enough job specific experience.
I was stunned when I received a phone call requesting an interview. When that day came, I was a nervous wreck. I usually have a good feeling when leaving an interview. Not this one. Everyone was so stern and tense. All I kept thinking was "I blew it."
Upon returning from winter break, my supervisor and his/her supervisor called me into his/her office. They offered me the job! I thought I was going to cry. All of my prayers were being answered. And while it took a lot of hard work, it also took patience.
The timing of it all still amazes me. If I hadn't been back in office A, I wouldn't have been able to begin learning portions of the soon-to-be-posted position. The new office director wouldn't have seen my intense work ethic. And I would have never applied for the full time job that I will begin this February.
Being patient wasn't easy. In fact, I struggled with it daily. But, my 91 year old Grandmother knew it all along. "A smart girl like you? You'll move up quickly. Just be patient." So, keep trying and fighting for your dreams. Sometimes, we need to step back in order for God to step in.
The very first job that I had right out of college appeared to be my "dream job." I was actually using the college degree that I had worked so hard to obtain. But, the honeymoon did not last long. Luckily, I was able to find another job rather quickly. I was on cloud nine. I thought that I was making a true difference in the world and helping others. Until I found out the company had very shady business ethics.
I then went through a series of horrible jobs. Working at a fast food restaurant would have been better than what these jobs entailed. My husband and I had only been married for two years. We were struggling to make ends meet and were lucky enough to be able to pay the rent. I was desperately seeking a full time job.
That's when my mother brought up the phrase about being patient. But, when you are constantly worrying that you will not have enough money to purchase food or that your crazy landlord may kick you out onto the street at any moment, being patient seems an impossibility. Especially when I became unemployed for a month.
I cried myself to sleep too many nights to count. And I prayed constantly. I wanted (and needed) a full time job and I needed it NOW. I always thought that my mom just didn't get it. She has her dream job and dad makes more than enough money to support them both. I felt like she didn't understand the struggles that Matt and I were going through.
One thing that I refused to do was give up. I was constantly on Careerbuilder.com and Monster.com. I would refresh the page every hour on the hour. I knew that I would accomplish nothing by sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
I have noticed that just when I think my life is over or that bad things/situations will never get better, God always comes through. I received a call for a job interview at the local college I had graduated from. A few days later, I got another call offering me the position. I was still a part-time employee, but it was certainly better than being unemployed.
About four months into the position, I learned that our office (A) was feuding with another office (B). I couldn't understand what the issue was. Something about we had "too many workers." Soon, I was told that I was going to be moving to office B and become their employee. While greatly confused, I was just thankful to still have a job.
This is where God and patience came in. I worked in office B for a year. One day, I noticed a job opening in office A. I decided to apply. Lo and behold, I got the job. My former co-workers seemed so excited to have me "back." And I felt like I was home.
After a month of being back, one of our full time employees quit to pursue other job opportunities. I was asked if I would mind doing part of this person's job in addition to my current responsibilities. I accepted without hesitation.
The following month, the job posting went up for the position. At a co-worker's encouragement, I applied. Honestly, I didn't think that I had a chance. I had only worked at the college for a year (and a few months). While I have my Bachelor's Degree, I feared that I would not have enough job specific experience.
I was stunned when I received a phone call requesting an interview. When that day came, I was a nervous wreck. I usually have a good feeling when leaving an interview. Not this one. Everyone was so stern and tense. All I kept thinking was "I blew it."
Upon returning from winter break, my supervisor and his/her supervisor called me into his/her office. They offered me the job! I thought I was going to cry. All of my prayers were being answered. And while it took a lot of hard work, it also took patience.
The timing of it all still amazes me. If I hadn't been back in office A, I wouldn't have been able to begin learning portions of the soon-to-be-posted position. The new office director wouldn't have seen my intense work ethic. And I would have never applied for the full time job that I will begin this February.
Being patient wasn't easy. In fact, I struggled with it daily. But, my 91 year old Grandmother knew it all along. "A smart girl like you? You'll move up quickly. Just be patient." So, keep trying and fighting for your dreams. Sometimes, we need to step back in order for God to step in.
Demented Disney
WARNING: Contains graphic content and the plot of Disney's "The Lone Ranger" will be revealed.
My husband and I were so excited to see the preview for "Disney's The Lone Ranger." Matt remembered watching the television show as a kid and I have always been fond of westerns. Unfortunately, we were unable to make it to the theater in time to see it on the big screen.
We patiently watched the Red Box app to for the movie to become available. As soon as it was, we quickly rented a copy. With freshly baked pizza in our laps, we sat on our living room floor and prepared to laugh our socks off.
Instead, we were completely horrified. The movie was not an adventure/comedy. What we saw was a very dark side of the Disney empire (Star Wars pun implied).
At the very beginning of the film, we meet Dan Reid, the ranger of the small town of Colby, Texas. He is awaiting the arrival of a train that contains a certain outlaw (Butch Cavendish) who is to be hanged by his hands. We soon learn that Cavendish is also chained to none other than Tonto.
John Reid (Dan's younger brother) is a lawyer returning home to visit his family. He too, is on the same train. While looking out his window, he sees the shadow of a man walking on top of the train. The man turns out to be Tonto who is chasing the now escaped Cavendish.
John jumps atop the train and follows Tonto. Together, they end up taking out several of Cavendish's posse members, but manage to be foiled by Cavendish himself.
The pair are finally rescued by Dan Reid. John insists on accompanying Dan into Comanche Territory to make sure that justice prevails. While Dan fears for his younger brother, he makes him an honorary Texas Ranger and agrees to let him join the party.
Due to the double crossing of one of their own posse members, the rangers are ambushed in valley. Cavendish comes upon Dan, who is quickly dying from multiple bullet wounds. John (who is lying beside him) comes to in time to see Cavendish rip out Dan's heart and eat it!
I wanted to turn the DVD off right then and there. What kind of demented script writing is that? Not to mention that while this "feeding" is taking place, we are treated with seeing one of the posse members throw up. As if that wasn't bad enough, we then get to see Cavendish's blood soaked hand accept a napkin and daintily wipe his mouth afterward.
How could Disney have come to this? I understand that the film has a rating of PG-13, but even at my age of 29, I was not ready for the pure gore that filled this movie. And didn't Walt Disney build his empire on wholesome family films? Classic fairy tales with memorable characters and musical numbers? This was more akin to something from "Carrie."
But, the darkness didn't stop there. While John and Tonto continue to pursue Cavendish and his men, they attempt to follow a horse into the desert. The horse literally drops dead. To make matters worse, Tonto goes up and kicks, yes, kicks the horse to make sure it is no more. That's a fantastic way to show children how to treat animals. And the sad part is, I think that was supposed to be the comic relief.
In addition, John and Tonto have to go to a whore house to enlist the help of the owner, Red. So, now Disney is doing horror films and soft porn? I was truly appalled. Plus, Red has had her own run in with Cavendish. He ate her leg! In its place, she now has a custom built leg that contains a gun that fires out of her high heel shoe.
Honestly, I don't know what the script writers were thinking, but I'm pretty sure that a certain plant was involved. The plot was absolutely non-existent. None of the characters were memorable. And the movie was 149 minutes too long.
What I would like to know is what were the big wigs at Disney thinking? I'm sure that Walt is spinning in his cryogenic encasement. This is not the type of film that he would want to add to his legacy.
Some may say that the Disney corporation was simply trying to "branch out." But, I think that we, as Americans, have come to trust the Disney name. If Matt and I had any human children and they had requested to see the movie, we would have let them go without hesitation. Some of my fondest childhood memories have been seeing Disney films in the theater. And having seen several episodes of "The Lone Ranger" black and white T.V. series, who would think that there was anything to worry about?
It is hard to believe that this is the same corporation that brought us "Frozen." I think that Disney has really crossed the line with this film and the overall interpretation of "The Lone Ranger." Perhaps the Disney team should follow the motto of: "If it's not broke, don't fix it."
My husband and I were so excited to see the preview for "Disney's The Lone Ranger." Matt remembered watching the television show as a kid and I have always been fond of westerns. Unfortunately, we were unable to make it to the theater in time to see it on the big screen.
We patiently watched the Red Box app to for the movie to become available. As soon as it was, we quickly rented a copy. With freshly baked pizza in our laps, we sat on our living room floor and prepared to laugh our socks off.
Instead, we were completely horrified. The movie was not an adventure/comedy. What we saw was a very dark side of the Disney empire (Star Wars pun implied).
At the very beginning of the film, we meet Dan Reid, the ranger of the small town of Colby, Texas. He is awaiting the arrival of a train that contains a certain outlaw (Butch Cavendish) who is to be hanged by his hands. We soon learn that Cavendish is also chained to none other than Tonto.
John Reid (Dan's younger brother) is a lawyer returning home to visit his family. He too, is on the same train. While looking out his window, he sees the shadow of a man walking on top of the train. The man turns out to be Tonto who is chasing the now escaped Cavendish.
John jumps atop the train and follows Tonto. Together, they end up taking out several of Cavendish's posse members, but manage to be foiled by Cavendish himself.
The pair are finally rescued by Dan Reid. John insists on accompanying Dan into Comanche Territory to make sure that justice prevails. While Dan fears for his younger brother, he makes him an honorary Texas Ranger and agrees to let him join the party.
Due to the double crossing of one of their own posse members, the rangers are ambushed in valley. Cavendish comes upon Dan, who is quickly dying from multiple bullet wounds. John (who is lying beside him) comes to in time to see Cavendish rip out Dan's heart and eat it!
I wanted to turn the DVD off right then and there. What kind of demented script writing is that? Not to mention that while this "feeding" is taking place, we are treated with seeing one of the posse members throw up. As if that wasn't bad enough, we then get to see Cavendish's blood soaked hand accept a napkin and daintily wipe his mouth afterward.
How could Disney have come to this? I understand that the film has a rating of PG-13, but even at my age of 29, I was not ready for the pure gore that filled this movie. And didn't Walt Disney build his empire on wholesome family films? Classic fairy tales with memorable characters and musical numbers? This was more akin to something from "Carrie."
But, the darkness didn't stop there. While John and Tonto continue to pursue Cavendish and his men, they attempt to follow a horse into the desert. The horse literally drops dead. To make matters worse, Tonto goes up and kicks, yes, kicks the horse to make sure it is no more. That's a fantastic way to show children how to treat animals. And the sad part is, I think that was supposed to be the comic relief.
In addition, John and Tonto have to go to a whore house to enlist the help of the owner, Red. So, now Disney is doing horror films and soft porn? I was truly appalled. Plus, Red has had her own run in with Cavendish. He ate her leg! In its place, she now has a custom built leg that contains a gun that fires out of her high heel shoe.
Honestly, I don't know what the script writers were thinking, but I'm pretty sure that a certain plant was involved. The plot was absolutely non-existent. None of the characters were memorable. And the movie was 149 minutes too long.
What I would like to know is what were the big wigs at Disney thinking? I'm sure that Walt is spinning in his cryogenic encasement. This is not the type of film that he would want to add to his legacy.
Some may say that the Disney corporation was simply trying to "branch out." But, I think that we, as Americans, have come to trust the Disney name. If Matt and I had any human children and they had requested to see the movie, we would have let them go without hesitation. Some of my fondest childhood memories have been seeing Disney films in the theater. And having seen several episodes of "The Lone Ranger" black and white T.V. series, who would think that there was anything to worry about?
It is hard to believe that this is the same corporation that brought us "Frozen." I think that Disney has really crossed the line with this film and the overall interpretation of "The Lone Ranger." Perhaps the Disney team should follow the motto of: "If it's not broke, don't fix it."
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Wonderous Woman
As you know, I love Ms. Jillian Michaels. She has truly inspired me to live my best life. I also love listening to her free podcasts (available on iTunes).
This morning, I was listening to the "Do you have my back?" episode. Jillian pointed out that males seem to stand up for one another whereas females tend to trash each other. She stated that we, as women, seem to always think that another female is going to come along and "take our man." But, males have the famous "Bros before hoes" saying.
The scary part? I think that she is right. At our homecoming parade last year, the class of 2003 was asked to ride on a float. As dorky as it sounds, I was super excited. However, when my husband and I got to the float, I was literally transported back to high school. The boys immediately greeted each other with a hardy handshake or man hug. But he girls broke off into their cliques and stood glaring at the other girls, sizing them up.
Why can't women have as healthy of relationships as men? I believe I have the answer: jealousy.
Case in point, my husband used to have a best friend named *Ben. They would talk on the phone, go to the movies, tool shop together. It was adorable! And since my husband was home schooled until college, he really didn't have any other friends.
Then, Ben met *Claudia. At first glance, she seemed like such a nice person. We double dated (Matt and I were already married) a few times and enjoyed ourselves. But, Ben proposed to Claudia and a new side emerged. The sweet, fun-loving girl was replaced with a self-absorbed, conceited, spoiled witch.
Claudia had to have everything her way and Ben was all too happy to comply. Suddenly, every time I tried to talk with her, it became a competition. When I told her I had published a book, she immediately responded that she was currently writing one. When Matt brought up the fact that some of my poems had been published in a magazine, she stated that hers were, too.
And she seemed to have a real problem with me hugging Ben when saying "hello" or "goodbye." Matt was asked to be a groomsman in the wedding and my faith was renewed. I thought that perhaps she was just so consumed with wedding plans, that she was turning into a temporary bridzilla.
I couldn't have been more wrong. At the rehearsal dinner, she didn't say two words to me or Matt. We were like the leper table. Still, I knew that I had to endure all of this drama for the sake of Matt and Ben's friendship. The wedding was nice, but Claudia then demanded to spend two additional hours taking photos of...herself.
While standing in a park, freezing our booties off, Ben's mother called him. The reception was being held on a military base (thanks to Claudia's father) and his mom left her parking pass at home. That's when Ben yelled at his mother. It was clear to see the damage that Claudia had done. She had taken a family oriented man and turned him into her slave.
We stayed at the reception just long enough for the dinner, toasts and first few dances. Then, we bolted. Before we left, we walked over to Ben and Claudia to thank them for making us a part of their special day. I hugged Claudia and received a Paris Hilton type response. As I moved to hug Ben, he actually, paused, asked Claudia for permission and then proceeded to hug me.
I could not believe it! Why was she so afraid of me? I can assure you that I am not a threatening person in the least. And she always acted so protective of Ben. Did she miss the fact that Matt and I had been married for like two years? I guess that doesn't mean anything to some women, but it does to me. It means that I am happily taken off of the market and am not even looking at anyone else in that way (aside from Chris Pine).
Claudia got what she wanted. Matt stopped seeing Ben because he hated how Claudia was treating me. He offered to talk with Ben, but I knew that he wouldn't go against his "princess's" demands. So, Matt lost his best friend all because of stupid jealousy.
Why do we make it so hard to be female? With behavior like the above, we are not doing ourselves any favors. We also seem to want to support our fellow sisters as long as they are not doing better than us. If a female co-worker gets a promotion, we smile in her face and congratulate her, but hit happy hour with the rest of the office and bash her until the bar closes.
And we talk about men having the "whose is bigger" complex? We have it even worse! Where men typically stop comparing at body parts, cars and girlfriends, we take it to another level. Women compare jobs, houses, jewelry, significant others, trips, pets and even children.
Ladies, for hundreds of years, generations of women have fought so that we can have the rights that we do today. Yet, instead of fighting problems, like the corporate glass ceiling, we are choosing to fight with one another. When we see a sister that is struggling or being wrongly accused, we need to protect her in any way that we can. Instead of being demoralizing, we should be gathering together to provide a network of love and support.
Please understand that I am not saying we should agree on every issue simply because we are females. What I am suggesting is that we should always respect each other and seek to empower fellow women. I know that I feel up to the challenge having Jillian Michaels on our side.
*Names Changed
This morning, I was listening to the "Do you have my back?" episode. Jillian pointed out that males seem to stand up for one another whereas females tend to trash each other. She stated that we, as women, seem to always think that another female is going to come along and "take our man." But, males have the famous "Bros before hoes" saying.
The scary part? I think that she is right. At our homecoming parade last year, the class of 2003 was asked to ride on a float. As dorky as it sounds, I was super excited. However, when my husband and I got to the float, I was literally transported back to high school. The boys immediately greeted each other with a hardy handshake or man hug. But he girls broke off into their cliques and stood glaring at the other girls, sizing them up.
Why can't women have as healthy of relationships as men? I believe I have the answer: jealousy.
Case in point, my husband used to have a best friend named *Ben. They would talk on the phone, go to the movies, tool shop together. It was adorable! And since my husband was home schooled until college, he really didn't have any other friends.
Then, Ben met *Claudia. At first glance, she seemed like such a nice person. We double dated (Matt and I were already married) a few times and enjoyed ourselves. But, Ben proposed to Claudia and a new side emerged. The sweet, fun-loving girl was replaced with a self-absorbed, conceited, spoiled witch.
Claudia had to have everything her way and Ben was all too happy to comply. Suddenly, every time I tried to talk with her, it became a competition. When I told her I had published a book, she immediately responded that she was currently writing one. When Matt brought up the fact that some of my poems had been published in a magazine, she stated that hers were, too.
And she seemed to have a real problem with me hugging Ben when saying "hello" or "goodbye." Matt was asked to be a groomsman in the wedding and my faith was renewed. I thought that perhaps she was just so consumed with wedding plans, that she was turning into a temporary bridzilla.
I couldn't have been more wrong. At the rehearsal dinner, she didn't say two words to me or Matt. We were like the leper table. Still, I knew that I had to endure all of this drama for the sake of Matt and Ben's friendship. The wedding was nice, but Claudia then demanded to spend two additional hours taking photos of...herself.
While standing in a park, freezing our booties off, Ben's mother called him. The reception was being held on a military base (thanks to Claudia's father) and his mom left her parking pass at home. That's when Ben yelled at his mother. It was clear to see the damage that Claudia had done. She had taken a family oriented man and turned him into her slave.
We stayed at the reception just long enough for the dinner, toasts and first few dances. Then, we bolted. Before we left, we walked over to Ben and Claudia to thank them for making us a part of their special day. I hugged Claudia and received a Paris Hilton type response. As I moved to hug Ben, he actually, paused, asked Claudia for permission and then proceeded to hug me.
I could not believe it! Why was she so afraid of me? I can assure you that I am not a threatening person in the least. And she always acted so protective of Ben. Did she miss the fact that Matt and I had been married for like two years? I guess that doesn't mean anything to some women, but it does to me. It means that I am happily taken off of the market and am not even looking at anyone else in that way (aside from Chris Pine).
Claudia got what she wanted. Matt stopped seeing Ben because he hated how Claudia was treating me. He offered to talk with Ben, but I knew that he wouldn't go against his "princess's" demands. So, Matt lost his best friend all because of stupid jealousy.
Why do we make it so hard to be female? With behavior like the above, we are not doing ourselves any favors. We also seem to want to support our fellow sisters as long as they are not doing better than us. If a female co-worker gets a promotion, we smile in her face and congratulate her, but hit happy hour with the rest of the office and bash her until the bar closes.
And we talk about men having the "whose is bigger" complex? We have it even worse! Where men typically stop comparing at body parts, cars and girlfriends, we take it to another level. Women compare jobs, houses, jewelry, significant others, trips, pets and even children.
Ladies, for hundreds of years, generations of women have fought so that we can have the rights that we do today. Yet, instead of fighting problems, like the corporate glass ceiling, we are choosing to fight with one another. When we see a sister that is struggling or being wrongly accused, we need to protect her in any way that we can. Instead of being demoralizing, we should be gathering together to provide a network of love and support.
Please understand that I am not saying we should agree on every issue simply because we are females. What I am suggesting is that we should always respect each other and seek to empower fellow women. I know that I feel up to the challenge having Jillian Michaels on our side.
*Names Changed
Liberating Life
A few days ago, I was sitting on the couch and I realized something. I am truly blessed. And I love my life.
While years past have been rocky, 2014 is off to a great start. I recently received a promotion at work. I will finally be a full time employee again! And as excited as I am about the job itself, I am ecstatic that I will now be able to help better support my family.
But, I have also noticed how other people seem to want to invalidate my life. When happily speaking with a former co-worker of mine about how this new job will greatly help my family, she sort of laughed. I believe it is because my husband and I have six dogs and a cat.
For some reason, many people do not see this as a "family." Unfortunately, stereotypical ideals seem to be firmly in place. To qualify as a "real" family to most of the world you need to have human children. And if you don't, but have an abundance of fur kids, people assume that you are unable to have children and are "filling the void."
Nothing could be further from the truth. My husband and I are perfectly capable of having children. We are choosing not to. I could go into the long list of reasons why kids just aren't for us, however, that's the beautiful thing. I don't have to. Our decision doesn't need to be validated by anyone. This is our marriage, our life and our family.
Unlike many of my friends, I am also quite content with what I have. I love my 2009 Chevy Cobalt (that was just paid off last year!). And I have no intention of selling it to "upgrade" to a Lexis or any other ridiculously priced car. A vehicle does not (and should not) define who you are. It is merely a tool to get you from point A to point B comfortably and safely.
Too many people are caught up in the "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome. My friend *Betty is one such person. She is never happy with what she has (and she has a lot). If someone remodels their house, she begins making plans to redo her own. If someone has new jewelry on, she makes a trip to the mall that weekend.
It is quite a sad thing to watch. She is surrounded by so much love and support and security. Yet, that seems to not be enough for her. And she has no qualms about telling others how to "upgrade" either. Whenever she comes over to our house, she always makes at least one comment about something she would change.
But you know what? I wouldn't change a single thing. Matt and I are so very fortunate that we are even able to afford a house. Many of my friends are still living in apartments and some (gulp!) are still at home with their parents. And while I understand that the house needs a few adjustments (new windows and a new sink), I have no desire to move to a different one. We have made this house our home and that's all that matters.
And then there are those who are constantly trying to climb the social ladder. You know, the people that seem to have 10 million Facebook friends, 2 million twitter followers, etc. To be quite honest, my husband and I have one person that we truly consider our friend.
That's right, just one. Yes, I have tons of "friends" on Facebook, twitter and numerous connections on LinkedIn. But, none of these people really even know me. Sure, we may have gone to high school together, but, do they know my hopes, dreams, fears and passions?
This one person has been the bestest friend that we could have ever asked for. He came racing over to the house one day on his way to work (making him late) so that he could help me unclog our toilet while my husband was at work. He has seen me without my make-up on. And I trust him implicitly.
My point is, it truly is not the quantity, but the quality of your friendships that matter. I can count on one hand the number of Facebook "friends" that would have helped me with my toilet that day. I'll give you a hint: it's less than one.
In conclusion, your life has a purpose and meaning. And you do not need to seek anyone's approval for living the way that best suits you. Be proud of who you are and take ownership of your life.
*Name changed
While years past have been rocky, 2014 is off to a great start. I recently received a promotion at work. I will finally be a full time employee again! And as excited as I am about the job itself, I am ecstatic that I will now be able to help better support my family.
But, I have also noticed how other people seem to want to invalidate my life. When happily speaking with a former co-worker of mine about how this new job will greatly help my family, she sort of laughed. I believe it is because my husband and I have six dogs and a cat.
For some reason, many people do not see this as a "family." Unfortunately, stereotypical ideals seem to be firmly in place. To qualify as a "real" family to most of the world you need to have human children. And if you don't, but have an abundance of fur kids, people assume that you are unable to have children and are "filling the void."
Nothing could be further from the truth. My husband and I are perfectly capable of having children. We are choosing not to. I could go into the long list of reasons why kids just aren't for us, however, that's the beautiful thing. I don't have to. Our decision doesn't need to be validated by anyone. This is our marriage, our life and our family.
Unlike many of my friends, I am also quite content with what I have. I love my 2009 Chevy Cobalt (that was just paid off last year!). And I have no intention of selling it to "upgrade" to a Lexis or any other ridiculously priced car. A vehicle does not (and should not) define who you are. It is merely a tool to get you from point A to point B comfortably and safely.
Too many people are caught up in the "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome. My friend *Betty is one such person. She is never happy with what she has (and she has a lot). If someone remodels their house, she begins making plans to redo her own. If someone has new jewelry on, she makes a trip to the mall that weekend.
It is quite a sad thing to watch. She is surrounded by so much love and support and security. Yet, that seems to not be enough for her. And she has no qualms about telling others how to "upgrade" either. Whenever she comes over to our house, she always makes at least one comment about something she would change.
But you know what? I wouldn't change a single thing. Matt and I are so very fortunate that we are even able to afford a house. Many of my friends are still living in apartments and some (gulp!) are still at home with their parents. And while I understand that the house needs a few adjustments (new windows and a new sink), I have no desire to move to a different one. We have made this house our home and that's all that matters.
And then there are those who are constantly trying to climb the social ladder. You know, the people that seem to have 10 million Facebook friends, 2 million twitter followers, etc. To be quite honest, my husband and I have one person that we truly consider our friend.
That's right, just one. Yes, I have tons of "friends" on Facebook, twitter and numerous connections on LinkedIn. But, none of these people really even know me. Sure, we may have gone to high school together, but, do they know my hopes, dreams, fears and passions?
This one person has been the bestest friend that we could have ever asked for. He came racing over to the house one day on his way to work (making him late) so that he could help me unclog our toilet while my husband was at work. He has seen me without my make-up on. And I trust him implicitly.
My point is, it truly is not the quantity, but the quality of your friendships that matter. I can count on one hand the number of Facebook "friends" that would have helped me with my toilet that day. I'll give you a hint: it's less than one.
In conclusion, your life has a purpose and meaning. And you do not need to seek anyone's approval for living the way that best suits you. Be proud of who you are and take ownership of your life.
*Name changed
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Icy Imbeciles
As my loyal readers know, I live in Freeburg, Illinois. I have been a Midwesterner my whole life. That being said, I am used to having quite diverse weather.
However, it appears that many people living within the area are not familiar with one particular phenomenon: ice. This cool culprit comes around during the months of December, January and February. Unlike its counterpart, snow, ice is not typically pretty to look at and can create some very hazardous conditions.
My town was recently hit with one of the worst snow storms in 20 years. We received about a foot of snow. Then, we were plagued with two days of bitter cold in which the windchill dropped to a -20! This means that all of the chemicals the road crews were putting out were doing...nothing.
I found this out on my way in to work on Tuesday. We were lucky enough to be closed on Monday, but, were put on a snow schedule the following day. Not opening until 10:00 a.m. would surly give the chemicals and sun light a chance to clear things up. Not so much.
The roadways were completely covered in white. I found out that I was actually driving on the side of the road for a portion of my commute. Living in the Midwest, you become very weather savvy. When I am driving in icy/snowy conditions, I will turn on my hazard lights (also known as "flashers"). Many people respected the fact that I was barely going 20 mph and kept their distance.
However, several trucks sailed past me as if there was no reason to not be driving 55 mph. As I approached my turn off, one truck in particular passed me, got in front of me and stomped on his brakes in order to stop at the red light. He promptly slid halfway into the intersection.
Before I could even make the necessary turn, my car suddenly began sliding to the side of the road. Remembering my driver's education from high school, I knew to turn into the skid. But, the ice didn't seem to register that that was what I was doing. I continued to slide, bumped into a snow bank and was gently pushed back onto the road.
The ride home was no better. However, I found that the drivers of two types of vehicles in particular were feeling quite brave (and foolish). Yes, trucks and 4 x 4's were flying past me as if I were in park. A few even had the nerve to give me a dirty look.
I cannot comprehend why the drivers of these vehicles believe that they are impervious to ice. I don't care if you have 4 wheel drive, chains and 6 tons of cat litter in your truck bed. If you hit a large patch of ice, you WILL slide (or at least fishtail).
Case in point, when I was attending college at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville in 2006, we were hit with a very nasty snow storm (much like this one). My Dad worked at the Illinois State Police in Collinsville. He insisted on driving me to school so that I would be safe. The roads were horrible. With as wonderful of a driver as my Dad is, we slid at least four times. We passed several fellow students who were stuck in a ditch by the campus.
Dad decided to use one of his sick days to stay with me so that if any classes were cancelled (as most of mine were), he could take me straight home. After picking up my final report from my Media Ethics class, I told him that we could skip my computer class (which I found out was cancelled later due to the campus closing). We were just passing Eckert's Country Store when a teenage boy in a red, beat up pick-up truck went flying by, laughing and pointing at us for going so slow.
We watched in amazement as the truck hit a patch of black ice, slide into the nearby ditch and ping-ponged back and forth like a pinball. As we crept by, the boy was no longer laughing. In fact, he looked quite pale and had an "Oh, crap!" look on his face.
The moral of my post? Be safe when driving on icy and snowy roads! You and your vehicle are not invincible. And if you see someone driving with his/her "flashers" on, give them a brake and pass with care, no dirty looks required.
However, it appears that many people living within the area are not familiar with one particular phenomenon: ice. This cool culprit comes around during the months of December, January and February. Unlike its counterpart, snow, ice is not typically pretty to look at and can create some very hazardous conditions.
My town was recently hit with one of the worst snow storms in 20 years. We received about a foot of snow. Then, we were plagued with two days of bitter cold in which the windchill dropped to a -20! This means that all of the chemicals the road crews were putting out were doing...nothing.
I found this out on my way in to work on Tuesday. We were lucky enough to be closed on Monday, but, were put on a snow schedule the following day. Not opening until 10:00 a.m. would surly give the chemicals and sun light a chance to clear things up. Not so much.
The roadways were completely covered in white. I found out that I was actually driving on the side of the road for a portion of my commute. Living in the Midwest, you become very weather savvy. When I am driving in icy/snowy conditions, I will turn on my hazard lights (also known as "flashers"). Many people respected the fact that I was barely going 20 mph and kept their distance.
However, several trucks sailed past me as if there was no reason to not be driving 55 mph. As I approached my turn off, one truck in particular passed me, got in front of me and stomped on his brakes in order to stop at the red light. He promptly slid halfway into the intersection.
Before I could even make the necessary turn, my car suddenly began sliding to the side of the road. Remembering my driver's education from high school, I knew to turn into the skid. But, the ice didn't seem to register that that was what I was doing. I continued to slide, bumped into a snow bank and was gently pushed back onto the road.
The ride home was no better. However, I found that the drivers of two types of vehicles in particular were feeling quite brave (and foolish). Yes, trucks and 4 x 4's were flying past me as if I were in park. A few even had the nerve to give me a dirty look.
I cannot comprehend why the drivers of these vehicles believe that they are impervious to ice. I don't care if you have 4 wheel drive, chains and 6 tons of cat litter in your truck bed. If you hit a large patch of ice, you WILL slide (or at least fishtail).
Case in point, when I was attending college at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville in 2006, we were hit with a very nasty snow storm (much like this one). My Dad worked at the Illinois State Police in Collinsville. He insisted on driving me to school so that I would be safe. The roads were horrible. With as wonderful of a driver as my Dad is, we slid at least four times. We passed several fellow students who were stuck in a ditch by the campus.
Dad decided to use one of his sick days to stay with me so that if any classes were cancelled (as most of mine were), he could take me straight home. After picking up my final report from my Media Ethics class, I told him that we could skip my computer class (which I found out was cancelled later due to the campus closing). We were just passing Eckert's Country Store when a teenage boy in a red, beat up pick-up truck went flying by, laughing and pointing at us for going so slow.
We watched in amazement as the truck hit a patch of black ice, slide into the nearby ditch and ping-ponged back and forth like a pinball. As we crept by, the boy was no longer laughing. In fact, he looked quite pale and had an "Oh, crap!" look on his face.
The moral of my post? Be safe when driving on icy and snowy roads! You and your vehicle are not invincible. And if you see someone driving with his/her "flashers" on, give them a brake and pass with care, no dirty looks required.
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