Fickle Friends

I love listening to Jillian Michaels’ podcasts!  They are free on iTunes and I find that I am always motivated after listening to one.  I was also lucky enough to get to see her live at the Fox for her “Maximize Your Life” Tour.

 

One point that she emphasized was getting rid of toxic people from your life.  I understand this concept all too well.  I was always the girl that had a best girlfriend.  Suddenly, as I got older, I noticed that the “friend” would begin to drift.  She would become demanding, self-centered and constantly criticizing me.  I would feel horrible and give in to her demands to keep her as a friend.  But, I realized that the “drifting” usually occurred after I had achieved something; aced a test, gotten a boyfriend, went to a concert.

 

These girls that I thought were my friends became jealous of my achievements and overall life.  They wanted what I had, but were unwilling to work for it.  That’s when they began to demand that I give them my full attention and time, probably so that I would not continue to grow as a person.

 

It took me a while to understand that girls are very jealous creatures.  I soon found that I had many friends that were boys.  They didn’t feel the need to compete with me or compare our lives.  We could truly just be friends and enjoy great conversations (and plenty of laughs).

 

In high school, I amassed a small posse.  This consisted of both boys and girls.  Whenever we got together, we had a great time.  But, as I got older, my “younger” friends (by about 2 years) began to pull away.  I was busy going to school and working part-time, preparing myself to be independent.  I soon saw them driving around town, laughing.  Having fun without me.  I would cry about being left out and wonder what had I done wrong.  After about two weeks, I would call the one friend in particular (who was male) and ask if we were still friends.  Pretty desperate, right?

 

Like my husband, I am a person who believes that friendship should actually mean something.  If my friends need me, I am there.  No matter what, no matter when.  So, why was I getting the cold shoulder?  My “friend” assured me that everything was fine, of course we were still friends and would then make plans to hang out.

 

And that would last for a few weeks.  Then, I would catch the group out and about again.  I later learned from another mutual friend that my group thought I was “boring.”  Apparently, it was “cooler” to go to the movies and steal arm rests.  Yes, they really did that.  I preferred to watch movies at home, play the Wii, go to the mall, order a pizza.  In my mind, normal stuff.  What these people wanted to do was not grow up.

 

Then the subject of drinking arose.  I do not drink, but I do not label those that do.  These “friends” wanted to get drunk every time that they got together.  I knew exactly why they were keeping me on the back burner.  I could be the designated driver.  No, thanks!  As hard as it was for me to let them go, I did.  No more phone calls to see if we were “okay.”  Like an ex-boyfriend, I simply let them walk out of my life.

 

What happened to me then?  Well, I met my husband, got engaged, got married, got a house, adopted dogs, got a great job.  In other words, nothing bad came from not holding on to those friendships.  And last I heard, these people are STILL doing the same childish things.  They have not yet graduated from college, are still living with their parents and have less than fulfilling jobs.

 

Early in my working world career, I befriended a woman that I thought was going to be my next BFF.  Not having one since high school, I was very excited.  We laughed every time that we were together.  She was even in my wedding as a bridesmaid.  But after I got married, I noticed a disturbing trend:  she began competing with me.  After my husband and I moved into a duplex, she and her boyfriend moved into an apartment.  When my husband and I adopted a second dog, she and her boyfriend adopted a dog. 

 

Then, the fights started.  Every day, she would come to my desk and ask what I had done over the weekend.  One time I told her, “Matt and I went to the Kelly Clarkson concert.”  She immediately fired back that that was a waste of my money.  Later, she told me that she had spent $150 on tennis shoes!  Who is wasting money now?  Every time I would tell her what I had done over the weekend, she would offer up what she had done and why it was so much better than my plans had been.  What gives?  I wasn’t bragging, I was answering her question.

 

Pretty soon, she stopped coming to my desk because, “Why should I always go to her desk?”  She was the one that had started that morning ritual.  I could not understand why she was treating me so poorly.  And just like in grade school, I pandered to her…for a while.  I would go to her desk and pretend to be overly interested in her life.  “You bought toilet paper?  How wonderful!”  But, I was truly getting nothing out of the friendship except for pain.

 

She only wanted to talk about herself.  She viewed everything between the two of us as a competition.  I could not continue battling with her every day.  Most importantly, she was poisoning my life.  I was miserable caving in all the time.  One day after work, I went home and unfriended her on Facebook.  I was prepared for the backlash, but none came.

 

When she later found out that I had gotten a job elsewhere, she began to be friendly again.  I only took her comments at face value.  I did not rush to my computer to friend her again.  That chapter of our relationship was over.  While I was cordial to her, I was not ready to go back to the abusive situation that I had been in.

 

Once I let go of these relationships, my life became happier.  I no longer had to worry about pleasing any one.  I could focus on my husband, house, dogs, dreams.  Does it bother me that I don’t have a gaggle of girls to talk with?  Occasionally, but that is when I take a good look around me and see how blessed I really am.  I do not need a million friends on Facebook or twitter to feel fulfilled.  I am happy with the people that are in my life.  As for a BFF?  I married him.

 

Vanishing Virgins

When I was in high school, it seemed that all of the “for teen” movies that came out dealt, to some degree, with the issue of virginity.  In many rom-coms, it was a whispered word that somehow meant you were “unloved” or “unwanted.”  I never understood this concept.

 

I was blessed enough to be raised by wonderful parents with outstanding morals and high expectations for me.  My blessings doubled when I was confirmed as a full-fledged member of the same church in which my father was confirmed in, my parents were married in and I was baptized in.  There, my morals and beliefs were further strengthened.  And I was never ashamed to be a virgin…EVER!

 

In fact, I was quite proud.  I love knowing that I truly saved myself for my husband.  And he saved himself for me as well.  I believe that this deepens that bond that we share.  We meant every word that we said in the church on our wedding day.  For better or for worse, my husband is the one (and the only one) for me.

 

Was the virginal road the easiest one to take?  Not necessarily.  I had my share of boyfriends that tried to push for us to “consummate” our relationship.  And it hurt every time I realized that our relationship had boiled down to a physical act.  All the time that I had spent “being in love” with the person was just a waiting game for him to see if he could “get some.”  Many of the girls that I knew in high school would have given in.  I can remember one girl in particularly that did in the back of a pick-up truck.  Wow, talk about romantic.

 

This is not what I had envisioned for my first time.  But, sadly, this is how many of the girls lost their virginity.  They swore that they were going to marry their high school boyfriend.  Can I tell you how many actually did?  One.  That’s right.  One.

 

Whenever one of my boyfriends pushed for sex, I told them to drop it.  If they didn’t, it was curb time for them.  I have always respected myself and my body.  I think that a lot of girls have lost that self- respect.  Many have unhealthy body image issues due to what is shown in the media.  And Miley Cyrus is certainly no help in the “protect your gift” category.  

Hollywood portrays sex as something that you have to have to survive.  MTV shows that if you are a “man,” you are sleeping with at least ten random women whose names you cannot even remember.  Heaven forbid you are a woman that wants to wait until marriage.  You should be scantily clad, giving it out like candy to anyone that is interested.

 

Thankfully, I never believed that my virginity was worth losing.  It was worth giving to the ONE man that I knew I would be with for the rest of my life.  And I will never understand the “sex like a man” concept.  So, you sleep around with tons of different guys.  Why?  You are obviously trying to fill a void from a deeper, unresolved issue.

 

“Don’t you want to have fun?”  I heard that line a lot.  Isn’t that the same line that people use to try to get you to use drugs and steal and all of those other illegal acts?  Waking up the next morning being filled with regret is not my idea of “fun.”  Having boys begin to spread rumors about you and your “performance” does not sound like much fun either.  But, these girls never thought about that.  Every day, boys were sharing their pantie exploits during P.E., at lunch, etc.  I was thrilled to not be the subject of any of them.

 

Then, there were the girls that were not so “lucky” and ended up getting pregnant.  A few actually decided to have the baby, a very brave choice while in high school.  However, the more “popular” choice was to have an abortion.  These girls thought nothing of going to the clinic several times a month!  Do they not realize that every time they have an abortion, they are greatly reducing the likelihood that they will be able to have a baby when they are actually ready?  Having to make such a gut-wrenching life decision would not be something I would label as “fun.”

 

And here is something that I think about:  Would you really want that many people to have seen you naked?  What if you bumped into one of the people that you slept with in high school on the street?  Wouldn’t you feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that he/she had seen your…everything?  And how would you introduce that person to your spouse?  “Oh, this is Bob.  We used to sleep together back in the day.  No big deal!”

 

Keeping my virginity until marriage is one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  When I met my husband, I didn’t have to worry about any children from “baby daddies” or ex-lovers giving him a report on what I’m like in the bedroom.  We never had to have that uncomfortable conversation about how many people we had “been with,” like on the movie “Just Married.”  And with him being a virgin as well, we could focus on what was really important, our love.

 

So, if you are a virgin, hold your head high!  You are a person who respects yourself and is not willing to compromise your morals. 

 

Callous Cruelty

When I opened up the recent edition of the Missouri Humane Society online newsletter, I was horrified.  At the very top of the page was yet another story about someone burning a dog.  The graphic photos showed that the dog (named Zeus) was burned on his eyes, legs and body.  He had no pads left on his paws.

 

Would you believe that the owner had the gall to surrender Zeus to the Humane Society?  The owner claimed that “Zeus got loose.”  Yes, when my dogs have gotten loose, they have always returned with burns all over their bodies.  Seriously?  Who could believe this person?

 

I truly cannot fathom what sick, twisted, demented individual would want to burn a dog, or any animal for that matter.  Does this make the person feel macho?  How are you “more manly” for picking on a defenseless animal that trusts you with its life?  Lording physical power over someone does not make you a stronger, sexy individual.  In fact, quite the opposite is true.  You become a heartless bully that seeks only to bring others down.

 

And how can you take your frustrations out on a dog?  My dogs provide comfort and bring me joy.  After a trying day at work, I look forward to going home and being covered in sloppy kisses.  I cannot wait to see their tails wagging like crazy at my arrival.  They are always happy to see me and love unconditionally.  Why on earth would I want to knowingly hurt them?

 

I am greatly concerned about this rise in dog burning incidents.  What is going on in the minds of the individuals that are performing these cruel acts?  How do they justify the behavior to themselves?  This is reminiscent of Trooper being tied to the back of a pick-up truck and drug for miles down the interstate.  She was mad at her ex-husband and took it out on his puppy.  So, what exactly did this heinous act prove?  If she was really mad, couldn’t she have just tried to take all of his money in court?  Why resort to abusing a puppy that has no say or control in the divorce matter?

 

If you cannot or no longer wish to take care of your dog, PLEASE, give the dog to someone else.  Turn the dog in to your local humane society or animal shelter (preferably a no kill location).  Or, if worse comes to worse, please just abandon your dog unharmed.  He/she will have a better chance of surviving or being rescued by someone without physical injuries. 

 

Burning, kicking, stabbing, shooting, throwing, hitting, dragging or any other despicable act that you can think of is NOT A SOLUTION.  To me, this just proves how un-manly/womanly you truly are.  You are not a human being deserving of happiness.  You are a monster that needs to be stopped and have the same callous cruelty that you inflicted upon the dog/animal done to you.

 

END THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE!

Misguided Miley

Upon hearing about Miley Cyrus' epic MTV Music Video Awards performance, I decided to check it out for myself.  It really couldn't be a bad as everyone was saying.  I was wrong.  It was way worse!

I'll admit, I liked the giant teddy bear that Miley stepped out of.  That is where my love affair with her performance ended.  From the moment she straddled the bear's leg, I knew I was in for a show.

Sure enough, Miley came out shaking her butt at everyone and sticking out her tongue.  Then, I watched as she spanked the bottom of one of her back up dancers.  Needless to say, I was less then impressed.

And then, Robin Thicke took the stage.  Miley proceeded to grind on him.  Then, to my horror, she defiled a foam finger!  My reaction was akin to Rhianna's:  a blank and confused stare at my computer monitor.

My one question:  Why, Miley?  I do not understand why she went down the same road as Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes.  She is now officially a hot mess.

In my mind, she seemed to have it all together.  She gracefully left the successful Hannah Montana show to pursue other acting opportunities.  And I thought she was phenomenal in "The Last Song."  Then, she was engaged to her hunky co-star, Liam Hemsworth.  I thought that Miley was making the transition into adulthood beautifully.

Then, she shaved her head.  And it was all down hill from there.  Soon, her engagement to Liam ended.  In one tabloid that I read, Liam's family was not happy with the "changes" that Miley was making to herself.  More tattoos and piercings ensued.

Once I saw the music video for "We Can't Stop," I knew that she had lost me as a fan forever.  This was not the Miley Cyrus that I had adored for years.  I simply do not understand why many young starlets think that maturing equals personifying sex.  Yes, I get that the actresses don't want to be type cast as the "goodie two shoes girl next door."  They want and deserve more adult type roles.

But I have seen plenty of adult roles that do not involve sex.  I'm thinking of Kate Hudson in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," or Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side."  These are two drastically different examples of adult roles that have absolutely nothing to do with sex.  Meaning, the stories revolve around an actual plot that requires the TALENT of the actress.  Not a mere shedding of clothing that happens daily at local strip clubs.

If I was a parent, I would keep my child away from every and anything Miley.  What message is she sending to young girls?  Shake your butt in boy's faces?  Yes, that won't lead to trouble.  Don't treat your body with respect.  Make is a playground for any and all interested parties.  What a great role model!

I cannot comprehend why this bizarre behavior is happening so frequently among Disney starlets.  While I certainly did not expect Miley to remain Hannah Montana forever, I never anticipated that she would turn into a classless, talentless hoochie.

Perhaps there needs to be a group, like DSA (Disney Stars Anonymous).  Maybe then these troubled ladies could receive the help that they need.  And hopefully, inspire future generations to do the same.

Treacherous Texting

While driving to work the other day, a woman hurriedly sped around me and then cut me off.  She remained the car in front of me the rest of the way.  However, I noticed that her eyes were downcast as she drove.  Yep, she was TEXTING

I realize that I am 28 years old and should be in love with the technology age.  Yes, I remember getting excited over the very first cell phone (that was more like a brick).  Or being super happy that my car came with a tape deck so I could rock out.  But, I will never understanding the obsession with texting.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't texting just like e-mailing?  I realize that the format is different in that the structure of the "letter" is very informal.  There is even a special lingo.  Hence "tots," "lol," and a host of other (sometimes indecipherable) codes.

Quite honestly, I will never text ever in my life.  I simply do not see the point.  If you want to contact me, pick up the phone and call.  I do not have time to try to figure out what your poorly written text message means.  And if you are that phone phobic, please just send me a regular, old e-mail.

The texting epidemic is running rampant.  I cannot tell you how many of my co-workers actually text while on the job.  And they act like this is the norm.  Would you find this acceptable behavior from a teacher?  What about a doctor?  Can you imagine a surgeon having his/her iPhone in the operating room and answering a text during surgery?  Certainly not!

Now, people are actually being stupid enough to text while driving!  First of all, no message from your BFF is worth risking your life to answer.  You are controlling a machine.  A machine that has the capability of killing others.  What would you say to the mother of a three year old child that died because you crashed into the rear end of her car while you were answering a text message?  "Sorry" just doesn't seem to cut it.

I am very glad that on January 1, 2014, talking on any mobile device while driving will be ILLEGAL.  I'm sure that there will be plenty of people out there claiming that the government is taking away yet another one of their rights.  I, however, am happy that they are protecting my right to use the highway as a safe driver who is just trying to get to work and them home safely.

Limiting Labels

While having a discussion with my husband, I was reminded of the time when I had just met a new co-worker at one of my previous jobs.  The woman introduced herself and then we had begun talking.  She then asked, "So, how many brothers and sisters do you have?"  I replied, "None.  I'm an only child."  Her response:  "You don't act like one."

Now, what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?  I was unaware that you could tell someone had siblings by the way that he/she acted.  I later learned exactly what this label implies.  Being an only child automatically means that you are selfish, conceited, domineering and an attention seeker.

However, I am none of the above.  I couldn't wait to go to kindergarten so that I could make friends.  I loved inviting my girlfriends over so that I could share my new Barbies or Polly Pockets.  In fact, I was constantly getting in trouble for talking.  I honestly just loved to be around kids my own age.

There is another stereotype about only children:  we are all lonely.  Secretly, we are hoping that our parents have another child so that we will have someone to play with.  Seriously?  I never felt "lonely" because my parents actually spent time with me.  We were always playing games, watching movies, or going outside to explore.  And I think there is a great fallacy in this assumption.  Do all brothers and sisters want to play with one another all of the time? 

Since my husband has an older sister, he confirmed with me that there were times where (shock!) they wanted to do their own thing.  He wanted to play with Micromachines, she wanted to play with My Little Ponies.  And you know what?  That's what I call NORMAL.  I cannot think of a single brother/sister pair from any of my classmates that proudly announced that they played together 24/7.  Even if you are one of many siblings, you are still an individual with your own identity, likes and dreams.

And as for my "choice" in being an only child?  That was not my decision to make.  People treat you like you actually had a say in the matter.  I would have never dreamed of saying, "Mom, can you and Dad make a baby for me to play with?"  In my opinion, parents should only have the number of children that they can actually support.

But, I am not the only person living life under a label.  My husband's label is far worse.  See, he was home schooled!  When he tells people this, they always get a shocked look on their face.  Like, "Wait, he's normal!  He couldn't have been home schooled."

Why is there such a negative connotation with home schooling?  Jamie Grace, an emerging Christian singer, was also home schooled.  At one of her concerts, I remember her saying, "People look at you like you have some sort of a disease.  They're like, 'I'm sorry you didn't have a life.'"

My husband could totally relate.  While he understands that some people choose to home school because they do not believe that the public school system is benefiting the youth of America, he was home schooled for a far different reason.  His parents were both in the Air Force.  They have moved a total of three times.  And they never knew when the next move was coming.

While I am a proponent of public school, I can certainly understand why my mother-in-law decided to teach her own children.  She knew what level of progress they were at as opposed to being told that Matt or his sister would have to start a grade over because they were transferring in during the middle of a school year.  And you know what?  Matt turned out just fine.

We actually met at college.  He made great grades and was always speaking up in class.  His term papers were thought provoking.  And I even had him tutor me in Philosophy!

So, why is society so quick to label only children and home schooled individuals?  We should not be forced to live under such stereotypical labels that only point out the negative side of our positions.  Since we, as a nation, are constantly expanding boundaries (think gay marriage) I feel that this extension should progress to the backwards thinking associated with these two groups.

Tantalizing Teachers

When registering for college, it is natural to check with your friends to see which teachers they liked and which they did not.  You want to make an informed decision when selecting your classes.  I always asked questions about the teacher’s style.  What are the tests like?  Is the homework load reasonable?

Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed what the question at the top of many prospective students’ list is:  the teacher’s looks.

I recall hearing a recent conversation between a former co-worker and her daughter.  The co-worker began laughing because of a text message she had received.  Her daughter was currently in a history class and had sent:  “I don’t know who rated this teacher as ‘chili pepper hot.’  He is not even cute or sexy.  I don’t know how I’ll stay awake for this class.”

Since my mom is a grade school teacher, this concept greatly offends me.  What does a teacher’s looks have to do with how they teach?  Student’s should be concerned with whether or not the material is being taught properly.  If the teacher’s expectations of his/her students are fair and the treatment equal for all.  Not if the teacher should be gracing an Abercrombie bag.

Am I the only one that also finds this trend creepy?  Students should not be finding their teachers attractive.  As we have seen in the past, this type of relationship has caused much trouble for several high school teachers.  Furthermore, I have a personal friend whose father was having such a relationship with a student.  And what did it cost him?  His wife, the relationship with his two children and his job.

We, as a society, are failing our children and the future of their education if we are teaching them that looks are all that matter.  Now, let’s take it a step further and say that the teacher of this particular female student is what she deems as “attractive.”  Will she really be being attention to the lectures or daydreaming about marrying the teacher?  If she manages to pass the class, will she really have learned anything?  And what if this course is a building block or prerequisite to another course?  Has any knowledge been gained?

I thought that the intention of websites such as ratemyprofessors.com was to judge the teacher on how he/she teaches.  Is the subject matter made attainable?  Will the teacher offer tutoring for struggling students?  Are the tests true to what is being covered in class?  Why would there even be a category dedicated to a teacher’s looks?

Our youth should stop romanticizing and trying to pattern their lives after movies such as “Twilight” and the like.  They need to focus on their intellectual studies so that they can become productive members of society.  Besides, what if a teacher decided to give grades based on how the student looked?  The shoe feels uncomfortable on the other foot, doesn’t it?

Terrifying Tests

I can remember being a senior in high school and taking a tour of the local community college with my fellow classmates.  After the tour, we had to take the COMPASS placement test.  I was totally confused.  I thought that the ACT was the big test that determined your academic future.  As it turns out, I was wrong.

This test consisted of English and Math questions.  I was terrified.  While English has always been my strong suit, math has not.  When the test was over, I had a horrible feeling.  Sure enough, I had aced the English, but did not do very well with the math.

Therefore, the college stated that I needed to begin in the Basic Algebra class.  Wait a minute.  I had already taken algebra in high school and passed with an “A.”  In fact, (not to brag, but make a point), I was a straight “A” student.  I had taken several Advanced Placement classes, which included all of my English courses since Freshmen year and a History course my Junior year.  Algebra is algebra.  Pie is still going to equal 3.14.  Why, then, do I have to start at the beginning of the math sequence based on this one-time test?  Why did all of my hard work in high school not count for anything?

What breaks my heart is that I see this same pattern with many new students.  I cannot understand why a college thinks that your entire academic future should be determined by a single test.  This creates a tremendous amount of pressure on the student.  I myself, felt sick to my stomach and was continually sweating during the test.  And this does not bode well for clear and level thinking. 

Not to mention the fact that some of the programs that the students wish to enter in to do not even require math.  Why should they be tested on something that they will not need?  Granted, everyone should know how to add and subtract and certainly how to read.  But, further than that, a student’s course load should focus on courses NEEDED for the program.  I think that some colleges use the test in order to boost numbers in Math and English classes.  Let’s face it, if you don’t have to take an English or Math course, you won’t!  I cannot think of a single classmate that said, “Man, I hope I get to take tons of math classes in college!”

I feel that more people would enroll in college if the courses they were told to take truly pertained to their program.  However, imposing these tests makes that dream next to impossible.  I remember feeling the same way during the ACT.  And guess what?  That magical number did not affect my life AT ALL.  The number was not used to get me into college, was not good for a scholarship and had absolutely no bearing on the jobs that I was hired to.  So, why force students to take these tests?

In more recent legislation, states are tying school funding along with a teacher’s potential raise to overall class scores on standardized tests.  How crazy is that?  Now, you are placing the teacher’s financial future on the line with a single test.  Seriously?  No matter how amazing a teacher is, he/she cannot truly prepare you for such a monstrosity.  I have since learned that children in the third grade even have geometry on their test.  Geometry!  That is a subject that I struggled with in my early 20’s!  Granted, I do believe that the teacher’s ability should be evaluated.  Children should learn how to read and perform basic math functions.  But to push for subjects such as geometry and even Spanish?  That is simply pushing the envelope too far.

No wonder some children fear school!  They are made to believe that it is a scary place filled with tests that will destroy their future if they do not give perfect answers.  I am here to state that this myth is simply not true.  Every child learns at a different rate.  They should not have information crammed into their heads weeks before the ISAT (or any other state mandated test) in hopes that better scores will be achieved.

I truly believe that a student’s academic progress should be judged by the overall grade that he/she receives in the class.  Not the score that they receive from one test.  Why should one test undo all of the student’s hard work that has been achieved over the course of their academic career?  That would be like going on one date with someone and then having the person say, “So, are we getting married, or what?”

Expected Exceptions

I work at a community college.  This institution is funded by the state.  Having said that, there are certain rules and regulations in place that we, as the college, cannot change. 

 

Many people, especially parents, become upset when I cannot release their child’s information to them due to FERPA laws.  I hear the same line every time, “That’s ridiculous!  I’m their parent!”  While I understand where they are coming from, the college cannot change its policy.  This is state law we’re talking about.

 

I realize that the countdown to school starting has begun.  But, I have noticed that more and more students are coming unprepared when trying to enroll.  The college requires that a photo i.d. be presented when attempting to do anything dealing with enrollment services.  Students have gotten angry and even hostile complaining that they “don’t want to have to go back to their car” to get the necessary identification.  There are two large signs that state “Photo I.D. Required” right outside of the registration windows.

 

The other major issue that I have seen has to deal with prerequisites.  These are courses that must be taken before other courses in the sequence can be taken.  Example, Spanish 101 must be taken before you can take Spanish 102.  Makes sense.  Not to many students feel this way.  The requirements for each course offered are in the course catalog as well as on the college’s website.  Still, the people in registration get blamed for the student’s lack of preparedness (and understanding).

 

More recently, I heard someone say, “I am 72 years old!  I shouldn’t have to send my transcript here to prove that I’ve taken a prerequisite course!”  Not only did this man cause a scene, but he threatened to bad mouth the college in a newspaper.  Really?  What type of behavior is this for a 72 year old?  I call it a bad example for the younger generation.  Just because this person is of a certain age, the college should bend the state rules to keep him appeased?  Ridiculous!  He of all people should understand the concept of rules and laws.

 

Registering for college can be a daunting task.  There are so many steps that need to be taken in order for the process to go smoothly.  However, most of the complaints that I have heard have been from students misunderstanding or misinterpreting what someone else has said or read.  When other staff members try to help by pointing out where the rules or requirements are listed, furry ensues.

 

Why does everyone in this world think that they should be an exception to the rules?  I believe that we as a nation do nothing but make excuses and exceptions for people to do whatever they want to do.  This does nothing but exacerbate the narcissism that is already running rampant throughout the nation.

 

Like the adage goes, rules are there for a reason.  If we did not have rules, there would be utter chaos.  And simply stated, the rules are in place to protect all parties involved in the higher education realm.

Shocking Shelters

The most amazing thing happened last night.  My husband suggested that we take a walk after dinner.  So, we harnessed up Cole and headed out.  As we were walking along the sidewalk, I saw something in the middle of the street.  I said, “Is that a dead kitten?”

 

Just then, the kitten looked at me and Matt and blinked!  “It’s alive!” I shrieked.  “We have to save it!”  Cars continued to race over the cat, who luckily, managed to stay in the middle and avoided getting squished.  Matt then began to step out into the road and tried to get the traffic to stop.  One particularly rude driver nearly hit Matt with his/her 4 x 4 and sped on.  But, the woman driving the car behind the 4 x 4 stopped.

 

Matt carefully scooped the kitten up as we did not know if any of its limbs were broken.  We waved ‘thank you’ to the person that was kind enough to stop to allow us to save the kitten’s life.  We then made several phone calls and much to our dismay, the veterinarian’s offices that we spoke with stated that they could only keep the kitten overnight and would then have to turn it over to their local animal shelter.  This is not what we wanted to hear.  We have 6 dogs and have never really been cat people, but we know that sending it to a shelter is a death sentence.

 

So, we took the kitten home with us, making sure to keep our fur babies locked in their crates since we do not know if the kitten has any diseases.  Matt and I decided that we should give the kitten a bath.  The water turned brown from all of the dirt covering the poor baby.  That is when we discovered the fleas….and ticks.  They were crawling all everywhere!  Matt attempted to pick them off with a pair of tweezers.  We soon realized that we needed to give it a flea bath.

 

I sent Matt to Wal*Mart while I watched the quarantined kitten in the bathroom.  When he returned, I was amazed at how fast the fleas began literally dropping off.  We are lucky enough to have a large room attached to our house that used to be a barber shop, but is now our storage room.  We placed the clean kitten in a spare dog crate with a towel and some Fancy Feast.  We were not going to take a chance of our dogs catching something, no matter how kind we are trying to be.

 

I called my vet the next morning and explained our situation.  I was sorely disappointed to hear that I was not going to be offered a discounted rate since this was a rescued kitten.  I take all 6 of my dogs there.  I find it very hard to believe that they cannot give me some sort of a break for trying to be a good Samaritan.  So, this will probably cost me around $100 to have the kitten tested and vaccinated.

 

Then the debate begins:  Do we keep the kitten or give her away?  Matt and I figured that there must be no kill shelters in the area.  However, if I am going to be spending This kind of money on an animal, I am more inclined to keep it.  Matt thought of calling the Missouri Humane Society.  We have always been impressed with their gorgeous facility.

 

That is when we learned something shocking:  HSMO is NOT a no-kill shelter!  Plus, they refused to take the kitten because it is from Illinois!  Honestly, I am disgusted by this.  This is one of the nicest shelter facilities that we have ever seen.   Classical music plays in each room to sooth the animals.  Small, plastic dishes with treats are attached to each dog pen so that treats can be given by visitors to the dogs via a large plastic tube.  This shelter receives thousands of money each year in donations through special events as well as private donors.  They even made enough money to build a second facility.  How can they not be a no-kill shelter?  What are they using all of that money for?  The last time I was there, there were hardly any animals present.  This disturbs me greatly.

 

And shouldn’t they want to help animals out no matter where they are from?  I have adopted two dogs from the St. Louis Senior Pet Project.  They did not discriminate against me because I live in Illinois.  We are only 45 minutes away from St. Louis.  Hundreds of people commute to St. Louis from Illinois daily for their jobs.  But, the Humane Society of Missouri is snubbing us because we are from Illinois?  My opinion of this group has drastically changed.

 

I am a huge animal advocate.  If I can save an animal’s life, I will.  Obviously, I am not going to become a crazy hoarder, but I will do my best to aid an animal in need.  I thought that was the point of a shelter, to provide shelter.  Protection.  Not a one way ticket to death’s door.

Nearlywed Nonsense

I was reading an issue of Glamor Magazine and I came across the strangest article.  The title:  "Are You a Nearlywed?"  I must admit, I have never heard of the term.  As I read on, I could see why.

Apparently, "nearlyweds" are people that have been living together for years, but are not married and have no plans to be.  They share in bill paying, rent and often times, have a joint bank account.  Some even have children together.  Think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jole, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.

So, why are these people refusing to tie the knot?  Commitment issues was one reason listed.  I have never understood why someone would not want to have one person in the universe that they know will love and care for them no matter what.  Why is this thought scary?  Picture this:  You have just had a horrible day at work.  You are upset and frustrated.  What you really want is to be able to vent and have someone tell you that things will be okay.  Wouldn't it be great to know that you have a loving spouse at home who is prepared to do just that?  Personally, I have never seen the point of fearing being with one person (and I have had my own heart broken several times in searching for "the one").

One aspect about this type of "relationship" that bothers me is that the people involved may be getting tax breaks.  Married people typically file jointly.  Therefore, the combined income is looked at and then taxed.  However, these people are not married and joined by law, so, they get taxed based upon their individual incomes.  Sneaky!

Another aspect that concerns me is when children are involved.  Back when I was younger, it was literally unheard of for children to be born out of wedlock.  Some of my friends came as a "surprise" to their parents, but, their parents were married.  I realize that times have changed, but I was always super proud of the fact that my parents actually sat down after they got married and PLANNED to have me.  I was not an accident or result of a "hook up."  I know that my parents did not get married simply because I was born because they already were.

Please understand that I am not saying that two people have to be married to be good parents.  But, personally, I would have died inside if my parents had not been married when they had me.  How will these people explain their relationship to their children?  "We love each other but not enough to get married?"  Then this warped idea will get passed on to future generations.  That is a thought that troubles me.

No relationship is perfect.  Marriage is not perfect.  I had no delusions that my husband was going to become flawless that day that we got married.  I knew that their would be struggles.  I knew that we would have bumpy patches.  But, what the marriage means to me is that neither one of us are going anywhere, no matter how bad things get.  We committed ourselves to one another and to this life long relationship.  I fear that by granting people that are living together for years the title of "nearlyweds" demeans the true purpose of marriage:  commitment. 

Those that simply live together have a way "out," so to speak.  They have not promised to love each other "till death do us part."  So, what happens if they have a huge fight?  Will they try to work it out or just walk away?  What if something "better" comes along?  This is not to say that married people do not do the same thing, but the article did mention that studies have shown that people who are married try harder to make the relationship work.

Finally, what are these people basing their relationship on?  I was greatly disturbed to read in the article that most had started out as "friends with benefits."  Translation?  "Sex buddies."  Wow!  What a great thing to base your relationship on.  So, what happens when that super bad day at work creeps up on you?  Will you feel like having sex then?  Sex does not solve a problem, it merely masks it.  The article went on to share some personal stories.  One woman said that she was in a "nearlywed" relationship, but she left the guy because he did not want to commit and get married...ever!  Should this have come as a surprise?

Why do we, as a nation, create more escapes and shortcuts for future generations?  I don't believe that everyone should follow a set pattern.  However, I also do not see anything wrong with the traditional way of doing things, such as dating, falling in love, then getting married.  I say change the "nearly" to "newly" and go enjoy the honeymoon!

Quandarious QSL's

I can remember one of the aspects about Ham radio that always excited me was receiving QSL cards.  My dad showed me his binder full of cards that he had collected from all over the world.  I was fascinated to see the different styles of cards as well as the differing stamps.

 

Now that I am a Ham, I have found that a number of fellow hammers are using digital QSL cards.  I can certainly understand the draw.  With just a few strokes on the keyboard, your contact is logged and sent.  You don't have to pay postage (which seems to constantly be on the rise) or pay to have more QSL cards printed.

 

But I feel that going digital sort of takes all the fun out of requesting a QSL card.  While I am not sure that my collection will ever reach that of my father, I had hoped to actually have tangible evidence that I contacted someone in a different country.  Receiving an e-mail like card is just not the same.

 

Plus, digital seems less personal.  I feel that hamming is a very personal hobby.  The whole point is to communicate with others.  I believe that this is especially true for those that use voice instead of CW.  I want to see the different hand writing styles of my contacts.  And of course, collect stamps from across the globe!

 

Perhaps I am just too "old school."  While I love the idea of expanding communications capabilities digitally, I still appreciate the sentiment behind a handwritten letter and paper QSL card.

"Priceless Penny" Kickstarter Campaign Goes Live

Upon completing the manuscript for "Priceless Penny," I remember thinking "Now what?"  I have this amazing story that needs to be told and yet, I have no idea what to do next.  I figured I should try to find an illustrator that could truly capture Penny's incredible spirit.

This was no easy task.  My husband and I looked at over 20 different versions of Penny.  We saw everything from digital concepts to an oil painting.  And I must say, there are some super-talented people out there.  I am jealous!

We selected Ms. Shameema Dharsey from South Africa.  Her cartoon version of Penny is simply adorable.  With an illustrator in place, I blindly groped my way toward the next step.  However, I noticed that there appeared to be a trend:  all of the steps required money.

Now, I definitely believe in paying people for their time and talent.  The only problem is, I am not wealthy.  That is when Ms. Dharsey told me about Kickstarter.com.  Through this website, you can showcase your project to people all over the world.  If people like your project, they can "back" you and make a pledge.

In return for pledges, you can offer varying types of rewards.  I have three different awards for those who wish to support the "Priceless Penny" project.

So, please check out my project's campaign at: 

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/838723198/priceless-penny-childrens-book

 

Your support is appreciated!

Tickifying Tickets

I am what some would consider a Concert Queen.  I love to dress up and go to concerts.  And I have seen some pretty amazing shows.  Kelly Clarkson’s All I Ever Wanted Tour in which the concert was on Halloween night was amazing!  Ms. Taylor Swift blew me away on her Red tour (I even got to meet her mom!).

 

However, there is one aspect about concerts that I absolutely hate:  purchasing the tickets.  I have never had a problem going through the famous Ticketmaster.com website.  With the account that I created, I can easily log in, select my tickets and get on with my life.  But, many artists are getting away from using this site.

 

I enjoy listening to a lot of Christian artists such as Royal Tailor, tobymac and Britt Nicole (to name a few).  I was super excited that Ms. Nicole was coming to a church in my area.  I couldn’t wait to purchase tickets.  I kept trying to go to the website that was listed on the concert announcement, however, I was always kicked back to the godaddy.com website.  The error read that that particular website was up for sale.  When I did a little more digging, the church where the concert was being held had launched its own website, which is where the tickets were being sold.  Needless to say, I was not able to get tickets for the show by the time I FINALLY located the correct website.

 

A similar situation just occurred on Friday.  I subscribe to the tobymac online newsletter.  I was totally excited to see that Toby is bringing his Hits Deep Tour to Missouri.  He has a whole new artist line-up featuring another favorite artist of mine, Mandisa!  Since I receive the newsletter, I was given a special code to use that would allow me to purchase tickets on Thursday before the general public.  I eagerly headed to the website to order my tickets.  Every time I tried to purchase the tickets, however, I received a message that I needed to “purchase at least 12 tickets.”  Really?  I only needed 2.  Why would I have to purchase 12?  So, I continued to try throughout the day and was met with the same error message.

 

I noticed that the venue’s website had a Contact Us section.  I alerted them to the issue and waited expectantly for a response.  None came.  On Friday morning, I went to the website to try again.  The exact same message popped up.  Later in the evening, I figured I would make one last attempt.  I was able to get to the screen where you purchase the tickets, however, the only seats that were left were less than desirable.  Needless to say, I will not be attending the show.

 

When I opened my e-mail this morning, I found a message from the venue stating that the issue had been fixed.  Thanks to the venue’s incompetence, I will not be able to attend the show.  What good is a pre-sale code if the website in which you use the code is not properly functioning?  And the truly troubling part?  This seems to be a growing trend for Christian concerts.  My question:  Why?  How come I can purchase tickets to more “mainstream” artists with no problem at all?  The Christian artists are just as talented.  So, why are they not given the same respect from the venues that handle their ticket sales?

 

I hope that in the future, ALL concert tickets should be easily attainable.  Maybe Christian artists need to consider moving their sales to a more reputable site, such as ticketmaster.com.  No fan wants to be left out in the cold when they have saved their money to attend the show.

 

A Big Ta-do Over Dog Doo at BaxterBoo

A Big Ta-do Over Dog Doo at BaxterBoo

Maddening Money

Money runs the world.  It is a depressing thought, but a true one.  The rich truly do seem to be getting richer and at the poor people’s expense.

 

Perhaps what maddens me the most are the people who have married into money.  I know one person in particular who believes that money is the answer to everything. *Sally constantly brags about her husband and how much money he makes.  Yet, on her own, she has no true accomplishments.  She has done nothing exceptional with her life.  And she is more than happy to tell you about all of the various jobs that she has held.

 

Sally validates herself through her husband’s accomplishments and money.  It just so happens that she decided to quit her current job because she thought it was “too stressful.”  She has since proceeded to tell people that “Well, we don’t really need the money.  Extra income is nice, but we don’t really need it.” 

 

Wow!  If I had access to that kind of money I would be thanking God every day and night.  To be able to have true financial security would be a dream come true.  What I would NOT do is rub my financial success in other people’s faces.  You have no idea what kind of mixed company you are in when you are shooting your mouth off.

 

What about the numerous homeless Veteran’s living in Washington, D.C.?  They have truly given everything that they have to this country only to be left with nothing.  And here you have a woman that has gained money, not through working hard and achieving goals, but by marrying someone who has done all of the work for her.

 

Another aspect of Sally that frustrates me is that while she was working, she was taking away a job from someone else who desperately needed it.  If she does not have to work, then don’t!  I know plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity to have any type of job just to be making an income.  And Sally’s compassion for others leaves much to be desired.

 

She had a customer come up to her who began telling his whole life story.  The gentleman had been laid off three times within the same year.  To which Sally responded, “Yeah, it’s hard for some people to find work.”  Really?  And it’s all thanks to people like her that don’t NEED to work that are robbing others of their rightful chances.  My heart goes out to this gentleman who is trying to be gainfully employed to support his family, but has fallen on hard times.  At least he is trying to contribute to society.

 

This is the question that I would like to pose to Sally:  What if your husband left you?  I know that she brags about how they have been together since high school and they are so in love.  But, what if she caught him cheating?  Would she leave him or forgive him to stay connected to the money?  What if he gave her the boot and she didn’t get a cent of his hard earned money?  What would she do?  Where would she go?

 

I find it sad that more and more women are basing their marriage decisions on money and not love.  My husband and I are by no means millionaires.  But, we married for love and we work together to support each other.  No one person does everything.  I believe that marriages are partnerships.  If you are to be a valuable partner, you have to pull your weight.  I am sure that Sally does her fair share of contributing to the addition of bills.  Why shouldn’t she work at her own job to pay for the things that she wants instead of draining her husband’s account?

 

 

Money is not everything.  There have been many wealthy people that have gone bankrupt and had to start all over.  But, if you are blessed enough to not have to worry about money, please keep it to yourself.  The rest of us worker bees do not want to hear it.

 

 

 

*name changed

Wandering Work Ethic

Ever since I was little, I can remember my parents instilling a strong work ethic in me.  When I would come home from kindergarten, they would review the alphabet with me.  As I got older, they helped me study for dreaded finals.

 

But I believe that I learned the most simply by watching my parents.  Even when my Mom feels like she is dying, she NEVER calls in sick.  She takes over the counter medicine and heads to the classroom.  Not only does she feel that it is her responsibility to show up to work, she knows how important consistency is for her students.  They count on my Mom to teach them the necessary skills to grow and become successful adults.  And my Mom does not take her job lightly.

 

My Dad is constantly taking on more projects at his job.  Often times, he would work overtime and not come home until very late in the evening.  He even had to miss a few holiday events because of emergencies.  And all the while, he treats everyone with respect and courtesy.  His office is known for being free of “potty mouth” language, a rarity in the world today.  He is dedicated to bringing quality service to everyone and never “calls in” leaving the work for others to do.

 

However, I am noticing more and more that people simply do not have any work ethic to speak of.  And this issue does not just lie with my generation.  While I agree that many “younger” people simply do not care about their job performance, I have seen a great number of older adults exhibiting the same behavior.  Fellow co-workers are surfing Facebook and twitter during company time.  Some are even going as far as shopping online.

 

What disturbs me the most is a conversation that I heard from an ex-co-worker.  This person was talking about the fact that her daughter was training another person at her job and refused to call in to go to a dentist appointment that her mother had set up for her.  The woman then said, “I don’t see why it’s so important.  I mean, she’s going to quit this job someday anyway.  Her work ethic is so cute.” 

 

Cute?  Really?  I would call it responsible and quite refreshing.  I believe that this woman could learn a lot from watching her daughter.  While she knows that she is not going to be at her current job forever, she is taking pride in the job that she is doing and wants to help other new employee flourish.  That is the way that the work world should be.

 

If I had no work ethic, not only would I be letting myself down, but my parents and husband as well.  I want my family to be proud of me.  And I believe that working my hardest at whatever job I am in is the way to do it.

Priceless Penny's Adoption Journey: The Potty Break

Priceless Penny's Adoption Journey: The Transport